Just about everyone experiences low self esteem at some point in their lifetime. You feel unsure about your life, unattractive, unsuccessful, and just plain unhappy. Many people go on like this for a long time before realizing they have a problem with their self esteem; and after such a long time living with their negative feelings about themselves they are lost for a solution to it all. Well believe it or not there are a plethora of easy yet effective activities you can do at home to increase those feelings of happiness and let the negative ones go.
Not sure if you have self esteem problems or not? In most cases, if you are unsure about whether you have high self esteem or not, you probably don’t. Those who feel good about themselves are aware of their feelings and they aren’t threatened by them. Some signs of low self esteem are blaming yourself frequently, constantly feeling negatively about other people, comparing yourself to other people regularly, regretting things frequently, and always feeling bad about yourself.
Keep in mind that individual results vary, you should try most if not all of these things to see which one will be most effective for you. You shouldn’t stick to just one either; different methods work for different circumstances and on different people. While doing these activities randomly will help give you an immediate self esteem boost if your feeling down, incorporate them into your everyday life if you’re serious about putting your self esteem issues to rest.
The most important thing to remember is know when you need help. Low self esteem can be a serious problem and can be connected with events that need more attention. You may not be able to resolve these issues on your own, and thus you may need to ask for some help. It is not a shameful thing to reach out and seek assistance in life; you should actually feel proud of yourself for recognizing that you need help and that you were brave enough to ask for it.
The first step to increasing your self esteem is to know what is causing it to be low in the first place. Start a journal and write down notes during the day on how you are feeling and what you are doing at the time; continue to do this for a few weeks. This will help you identify the situations that cause your self esteem to be low. Once you have identified them you can be prepared to deal with the situations if they arise in the future.
Break the cycle of negativity. You may have been the victim of many things in the past, but you are allowing yourself to be a victim of them now. Don’t regret the decisions you’ve made and don’t feel bad for yourself because you may have been through some experiences that left you the victim. Turn those bad experiences into a positive outcome.
Make a list of the decisions you’ve made that you regret or the experiences that have left you a victim and for each one rewrite it focusing on the lessons you have learned from them and how they have helped you in life. Maybe an abusive relationship has taught you to be more careful when choosing your mate or the signs to look for should it happen again. Maybe having an alcoholic parent has helped you to avoid the pressures of using alcohol. No lesson or way an experience has helped you in life is wrong, it all shapes who you are and how you deal with future occurrences.
Now get rid of the old list and keep the new one around. When you feel yourself regretting those decisions again or you start to feel like you’re the victim again, get the list out and read it. Tell yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them, or that you will not let someone who victimized you continue to victimize you by having control over your feelings of self worth. You may not even believe yourself at first, but you will if you keep repeating it.
Make attainable goals and stick to them. At first it may be easier to make your goals a little lower than what you expectations. You have to learn to meet your expectations and gain the knowledge of what you can and can not achieve. Make short term goals first and then incorporate long term goals. Instead of saying “I’m going to lose 50 lbs this year” say “I’m going to eat healthier so I can lose weight.” Eating healthy is a goal that can be achieved rather quickly and when met can give you the self assurance to help you met the long term goal of losing weight. This will help build your confidence in reaching your goals.
Give yourself a well needed makeover. The way you feel about your body can greatly affect your self esteem level. Do something you have always wanted to do for yourself. Dye your hair a new color, buy a flattering outfit, or get a manicure. If you’re a woman visit the makeup counters at department stores and ask them for tips on what looks best on you, most of them will even do your makeup free of charge.
Start your day the right way. If you wake up and are feeling down take the time to do your hair and dress nice. Taking time to make yourself look good can greatly improve your outlook. Feeling good on the outside will help you feel good on the inside.
Surround yourself with positive people. It is hard to avoid feeling bad about yourself when you are constantly criticized or around people who complain endlessly. Stand up for yourself when people criticize you and tell them you are taking charge of your life by only allowing positive things to influence you. Change the subject to happier notes if you don’t want to avoid the complainers, they will get the hint soon enough and stop bothering trying to take you down with them. Keep in mind this doesn’t mean you can’t be a friend with a listening ear when in need; know the difference between some needed support and a pessimistic person.
Get some support. There may be people in your life who you can not eliminate or you are not comfortable standing up to just yet. Make sure you have supportive people around you to counter those who are negative. Seek the advice of a counselor for tips on how to deal with these people if needed.
Improve yourself. Improving yourself can be emotional, mental, or physical. You can do community work, take an educational course, or decide to exercise more. When you feel good about what you are doing you will feel good about yourself. Reach out to others who have been in your situation and give them some support or just be their friend. Helping others is an excellent way to improve yourself and your self esteem.
Engage in an activity you are good at and you enjoy. When you feel self doubt creep in or you are feeling low engaging in an activity you are good at can help boost your self esteem and confidence. This can be any activity, even if it doesn’t seem significant to you. For example- cooking, writing, art, cleaning, swimming, organizing, or even gardening can help you focus on your strengths.
Keep a log of your accomplishments and awards. This can even be things that seem trivial to you, such as an attendance award. Take the ones that mean the most to you and display them where you can see them regularly. When you are feeling unsuccessful you can look at the things you have accomplished to counter those negative thoughts.
Write down all the things you like about yourself on a piece of paper. Ask your friends and family to name a few things that they like about you and add them to the list as well. Every time you feel negatively about yourself look at the list and think about the qualities that you and other people like about you.
Turn your frown upside down. You create a chain or circle by smiling at people. When you smile at someone you project happiness to them and they in turn smile back. When the people around you are happy and smiling it then makes you smile in return, making them smile, and so the circle keeps going. Even if you don’t feel like smiling, doing so often enough will basically trick your brain into thinking happy thoughts.
Overall, increasing you self esteem can be a daunting task. It can take awhile before you start to feel good about yourself, but if you are persistent those good feelings will become a part of you. That doesn’t mean that there will come a time when you no longer have to work to maintain your self esteem. There will always be negativity in the world and you will always have to work to counter balance it, the object is learning how to do it naturally and effectively.