As human, we are designed to express a range of emotions. This includes emotions associated with a joyous occasion, as well as feelings or emotions that stem from less jovial moments. Anger is a complex emotion. In some instances, showing anger can be a good thing. For example, if people are treating you badly or taking advantage of you, showing anger and expressing your feelings may help alleviate the problem. The problem with anger occurs when it is expressed wrongly. There are two types of anger: controlled anger and uncontrolled anger. With controlled anger, you have complete control over your actions. A person expressing controlled anger may choose their words carefully and avoid hurting another person. On the other hand, when uncontrolled anger is expressed, a person loses complete control over their emotions. This results in hurtful speech and possible bodily harm.
While uncontrolled anger is extremely unpleasant, and often humiliating, each person will likely experience this at least once in their life. Having an episode of uncontrolled anger does not necessarily mean you are a horrible person, or that you require professional help to alleviate anger issues. However, if you have endured several repeated bouts of uncontrolled anger, you may consider implementing techniques into your daily routine that will help you combat this problem. There are several ways to gain control of your emotions. If you were to purchase a book on anger management, you will find numerous tips and proven methods for ending the vicious cycle. Of course, along with researching information, you must be willing to give full effort. Anger issues will not resolve themselves. Instead, you must be prepared to find the root of anger. Why are you more susceptible to losing your cool?
Many factors contribute to anger. However, the two main contributing factors are genetics and experiences. Some people are simply born with anger issues. In this situation, a person may belong to a family with a reputation for having a short fuse. Moreover, you may have a double dose of anger. In other words, both your mother and father have temper control problems. In this case, it only makes sense that their offspring will need a little extra help in keeping calm.
The second primarily reason for anger is life. Those who suffered from unfortunate events such as death of a loved one, abuse, rape, abandonment, neglect, etc are more prone to develop a short fuse as they become older. Individuals belonging to this group may require professional counseling to successfully overcome anger problems.
Fortunately, anger does not have to control you. There are several techniques to help you maintain your cool in all situations. Even when an anger outburst is justified, remaining calm will help you handle the situation more effectively.
Take a Time Out
The most effective method of preventing an outburst is taking a time out. In other words, leave the person or situation that may cause an outburst. If you are dealing with an unruly customer, co-worker, family member, etc, simply walk away from the situation as soon as you feel yourself becoming heated. If you are at work, simply request that another co-worker handle a situation. While a move like this may be frustrating for another worker, it is better for a person with a calm disposition to be slightly inconvenience than for you to experience an adult temper tantrum while working.
This approach also works when dealing with children, spouse, parents, and siblings. While arguing is sometimes unavoidable, you can avoid a complete meltdown. Before shouting hurtful remarks, leave the room. Go to a secluded place and count to ten. Do this several times until you are calm. Afterwards, return to the situation and handle it calmly. If necessary, take additional time outs until your anger is controlled.
If a short time out does not calm your nerves, engage in a physical activity. Some people react to anger by hitting. Instead of hitting, punching, kicking, or throwing objects at another person, express your anger using a punching bag. If a punching bag is not accessible, take a quick walk or jog around the block. Go to the nearest health club and workout. Lifting weights, swimming, or aerobic activity is highly effective with alleviating tension and calming anger.
Avoid Bottled Emotions
Ironically, individuals with a passive disposition are more inclined to anger outbursts. The reason is because passive people do not regularly express their hurt feelings. Instead of announcing when something makes them unhappy, a passive person will keep their feelings inside. However, this attempt to avoid conflict is dangerous. At some point, the passive person will become fed up and explode. When this occurs, this person may swear, yell, shout, and hit.
To avoid a sudden outburst, passive individuals must speak up and express their feelings. Instead of acting in a manner that pleases others; passive persons need to address their own emotions.
Find the Root of Anger
Commonly, people lose their cool in similar situations. For example, if you are a person that hates begin interrupted, you may discover that the majority of your outbursts occur after another person interrupts you while speaking. The best way to identify the root of anger is keeping an anger log. After each outburst, record the events leading up to the outburst in detail. This way, you can pinpoint the possible cause of anger, which will help you to avoid similar actions in the future. Possible causes of anger outburst can range from the sound of gum popping to a crying baby. Once you have identified your cause of anger, begin employing a deep-breathing exercise to help you get through a situation without exploding.