When a person, effectively, communicates with another person, he/she provides a clear and concrete picture. If I’m saying to an elderly neighbor that I’m going to pick up his/her newspaper at the store, I’m, effectively, communicating what I intend to do for this particular person. The elderly neighbor will perceive me as a fine gentleman who is doing something really nice to help him/her out. I’d be going out of my way for this elderly neighbor and he/she will, indeed, find my errand for him/her duly admirable.
When I assist a developmentally disabled person, I stand out to others as a caring friend willing to do whatever I can to help out the chronically impaired. This puts me on a pedestal and raises my ego to a level where others see me as someone who is not so self conceited (caring about others rather than just myself). Constant clarity in everyday communication creates a framework in our society that, essentially, makes sense to all people involved. When people work together and a message is rather blurred, the workers develop a handicap in that particular environment. If, however, the message is clear, the workers, then, can hear it properly and, thus, be able to respond or react to it with the greatest of ease. When I communicate effectively in a certain situation, I come across to other people as the strong one who knows how to deal with the environment around me.
When I communicate poorly to people around me, I come across as having a very weak foundation not able or ready to deal with the everyday comings and goings of human life. Reading to a disabled person, playing chess with an elderly person, or fixing a child his/her breakfast are all ways that we can be effective communicators with people who are very much different than us. As a person reads to a disabled person, plays chess with an elderly person, or fixes a child his/her breakfast, an individual will see the ability in every one of these particular people (each with their own strengths & weaknesses). We are seen as mentors or helpful friends. This will, also, in another sense, raise our self esteem. Just to be with others helps our mental and physical state. We are more healthy and proactive individuals when we assist others (and, also, be with others). When our self esteem is raised, we can think clearer and we are, essentially, happier like-minded people. We can, then, assess others more practically.
There is a saying, “One needs to help himself/herself before he/she can help others.” If we, first, don’t take care of ourselves there is just no way we can take care of or, even, help others. When we feel good about ourselves we can, then, feel good and/or, even, twice as good about others. Learning to have healthy relationships with others really, first, stems from having healthy relationships with ourselves. If an individual is significantly depressed, there is just no way he/she can associate well with another person. This has, ultimately, been proven on so very many occasions. A person can, indeed, have a healthy relationship with another person if these two people are mentally healthy themselves. A relationship can, ultimately, work when there is positive stimuli between two people.
Constant negative stimuli can lead to divorce, a boyfriend breaking up with a girlfriend, sometimes a car accident, a fist fight between two people, a worker being fired from a full time position at a top level company, and a waiter getting really angry at a customer. Constant positive stimuli between two people can lead to a healthy marriage, a job promotion at a top level company, a parent rewarding his/her child, a friend writing a friendly letter to another friend, and a chef making the best tasting most mouth watering dessert that a certain individual has ever tasted.