Home Improvement Project Gone Bad

Home Improvement Gone Bad (DIY Disaster)
When I bought my 1979 Dodge St. Regis it was in mint condition as a one owner automobile. There had only been 5000 of them in production. It was a 4 door battle wagon designed to last. With the 318 V8 engine and Rochester quadrajet carburetor, I could not loose. As I dialed and primped to customize this machine to my fancy, it never disappointed me. During the course of things I had to replace the water pump. Very simple operation. I have done it many times without incident on other vehicles.
It is my practice in automobile repair to start with the most difficult bolts first and work my way through to the easier ones. For reasons unknown to myself, I started with the top bolt. It is the easiest to get to. When I put a little bit of torque on it to break it loose, it gave that sickening click and then turned freely. Through experience with my limited mechanical abilities, I knew that I had broke the bolt off in the block. I do not have the drill and tap to extract this bolt out of my engine block. So I take it to a friend who owns a mechanic shop, and whose mother had sold me the car. He says it will be no problem to extract the bolt and install the new lifetime warranty water pump I had purchased.
I arrived several days later to pick up my car. The work had been done, and all was well. There was only the matter of the bill; which was $250.00 dollars. Not so bad for a greenhand screw up huh? Well, there’s more.
I felt compelled to take my car with my new water pump to Jiffy Lube and get her oil changed. My how I loved the way that engine purred like a kitten. I got my oil changed, and the fella came to me and said; “Mr. Cloud, do you realize that you have water in your oil?” To which I kindly responded; “Why no Sir, I did not know that.” I was flummoxed. I returned to my house to try to decipher what mechanical malfunction could cause this. I readily decided to take the car back to my friend to see just what had happened. He assured me that it was a problem with the head gaskets. With my limited knowledge of auto mechanics, this made sense. So I left the car there for him to fix.
When I returned to pick up the car and resolve the bill, it amounted to $650.00 dollars. Now keep in mind that I had only paid $750.00 dollars for this car. So I took my medicine and chalked it up to being part of an investment, a necessary investment. With my new head gaskets and new water pump I headed back to Jiffy Lube to get some fresh oil as the $650.00 dollar gasket job did not come with an oil change. I told that kind man that I knew there was water in my oil this time and that I had fixed the problem. When I got home I checked the oil just to make sure. I felt that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when I saw the milky substance on my dipstick. With the job I had at the time, I could not afford to allow my car to be in hock in the mechanic shop anymore. I had to have it to drive to work.
I drove that car for months by replacing the oil on a regular basis. But it took its toll eventually. It developed a knock so bad that I could not set my coffee cup on the dash without it vibrating off. I had resigned myself to dropping a new engine in it. I wanted to have a friend rebuild one for it. I went to the junk yard and they had one just for me. They even drove the car around to the front for me to hear it run. I was ready! I told them I want that engine, and I paid $450.00 dollars cash for it. That included delivery. I thought I had really got over on this one. When the engine was delivered to my friends shop (Not the friend who had the mechanic shop), it looked nothing at all like the engine I had seen run in that car. Well silly me, I did not mark the engine with a center punch or anything.
My friend came with me to get my car. I had him follow me because this thing was knocking so hard it seemed it would throw a rod through the hood at any moment. When we got to his garage and I parked it, I turned off the engine. He asked me to crank it up and move it over to the side just a little bit. When I hit the starter all I got was CLICK CLICK. It was done.
When we pulled that engine, the crankshaft could be worked up and down vertically over ¼ inch. The first thing I wanted to do was to get that new water pump off of there so I could put it on my rebuild. When we removed the pump we noticed some compound known as “Red Hand” in the bolt hole that had to be extracted. Upon further inspection we learned that when the bolt was drilled and extracted, they had drilled into the block. I brought the engine to my so called friend and the tailgate of a truck. He denied any wrongdoing and said that I could not prove the damage was his fault. And outside of getting an expensive lawyer to litigate the matter, he was right. So after rolling the ruined engine block off of the tailgate into his parking lot, I went to finish the job at hand.
We rebuilt that engine from the ground up. When we pulled it apart we discovered that it had solid lifters and solid push rods. The engine was to have come out of an 83 model automobile. Solid lifters and push rods do not come standards with much of anything after 1965. I went back with the originals as they were in excellent condition. In thinking they had got over on me, the junk yard had actually given me one of the best year model engines for the Dodge 318. In having the heads worked over, we discovered that it was in fact a 1965 model engine. I went from the front transmission seal to the radiator with new parts. We had the block steam cleaned with a powerful shotgun pressure washer that used almost ten thousand pounds of pressure. When we got it back together and the carb rebuilt and dialed in, it would scream like a banshee!
As this was not my primary vehicle, I left it when I went to work out of town. My Step Dad was in failing health and his car had went down on him. He was on a fixed income and could not afford to purchase another vehicle. He was family, so I was obligated to make sure he was taken care of. I ended up having to sell him my car for $500.00 dollars.
The new engine had barely 900 break in miles on it. He told me how sweet it was and how it cranked with a bump of the starter. He was amazed with the gas mileage as it used so little gas. All was well if you were on his end. Then suddenly without any warning I get a call in the middle of the night. My Step Dad had been in an awful accident. Thank goodness he was okay. However the car had been totaled. It was T-boned from the passenger side just past the rear door. They had no way to deal with a wrecked automobile in their yard. So it had to go to a wrecking yard. The same wrecking yard I had bought the worthless engine from less than a year earlier. They got it back totally rebuilt. This all started with me trying to replace my own water pump.

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