How to Spot a Liar in Action

Most of us have lied at least on more than one occasion. From telling your sibling you didn’t break their favorite toy as a child, to the white lie you told your roommate about the disappearance of their leftovers, we have all experienced the act of lying in order to save ourselves from the uncomfortable world of confession. On a small-scale, most lies may be harmless and will not cause continual damage; however, the habit of lying can become very destructive if this technique is applied in larger, important areas of life.

Lying can be a result of a poorly developed social skill; it is simply a weak attempt to gain something from another, and a poor choice for communication. Regardless, it is a skill deployed by many, and just as with any habit, will perpetuate itself as the liar continues to reap ‘benefits’ from their behavior and actions. The truth behind most liars is their ongoing commitment to maintain either a faÃ?§ade, cover another lie, and basically save themselves. Lying is a selfish attitude, and not many people can, or will, put up with it for long. Even the best liars do get found out, and will need to brave the outcomes of their ‘hard work.’
Depending on the skill level of the liar, there are some key characteristics and traits that are identifiable for most. It may not be easy, but learning to spot a lie or liar will save you a tremendous amount of energy, personal anguish, and create a positive space for you and your life.

Here are ten key traits of a liar:

1. Limited or no eye contact. We are all social animals, and we naturally do not make eye contact with people or things that we may feel are not aligned with what we are saying or doing. This is more apparent with the liar; he or she is benefiting from not looking directly at you, either looking away, or looking distracted more often than not.

2. Small pupils. Our pupils dilate when our brains either look or perceive something nice, beautiful, and held clearly within our ‘mind’s eye.’ This is why people with ‘fire in their eyes’ are often described as such as they are literally looking at a desirable object or idea; when people are lying, their pupils will contract as it takes concentration and hard mental work to put the words together without a truthful scenario or event behind them.

3. Crossed arms or legs. This is a defensive pose, and is a natural protective measure that screams ‘keep away.’ Body language is a key part of detecting a liar, and can speak for itself.

4. Talking too fast. This can be a key trait of a liar, as they are trying to breeze through the information and hope you will follow their lead. Sometimes there is truth behind it; the easiest way to find out is to calmly interrupt them and ask them to repeat it. If they are fumbling, or cannot recall what they just said, it’s a clear indication that they were making it up while speaking, or do not have their facts/ideas in order.

5. Being overly friendly. This can take many forms, and is definitely a part of guaguing someone’s personality. On a most basic level, this person is trying to make them like you so much that you’ll believe anything they are going to say. Use your discretion when it comes to this area!

6. Nodding their head opposite to what they are saying. Most liars do this subconsciously, and will shake their heads ‘no’ when they are saying yes, and vice versa. This is often subtle, but can be picked up fairly easily.

7. Hands up to the face or mouth. Most liars will use this subconscious body movement as they are likely anxious, and uncomfortable while ‘speaking’ their lie.

8. Changing subjects frequently. This is a signature trait of a skilled liar, as they do not even want you to elaborate or ask questions about a specific item or something they have just said. Instead, it is easier for them to ‘flit around’ from subject to subject or idea, and limit elaboration at all costs.

9. The liar will try and word out contractions (e.g. I am not, vs. I’m not) This may be a difficult thing to pick up depending on how they ‘normally’ talk, but often a liar will go to extreme lengths to be very specific and almost technical with their words. It’s almost as if their conscience is keeping track of their words, and they must carefully sound out each detail! Liars will also not use “I” or “me” very often, as it just might be too painful for them to relate their words with themselves.

10. Liars will look down when communicating. This is not only a natural response to shame, but is a way for them to ‘weave’ the lie that doesn’t really exist as truth in their mental picture. The blank ground helps them literally put their words together with few distractions. People who tell the truth, on the other hand, will ‘pull’ the ideas literally above their heads, looking around, and making strong eye contact with you while they are describing their story.

Most actions and behaviors of the liar are subtle, but they can be found ina variety of settings, conversations, and communications. You’ll always need to use your best judgment of the situation, but when your gut instinct gives you the ‘danger’ sign, listen to it! You’ll be better off in the long-run by knowing what to look out for, and really thinking about those red flags in any type of relationship. Unfortuantely, most liars will continue their habit until a major catastrophe or life-changing moment occurs; if they have developed this skill over others, it will simply create difficulty for themselves and socially in the long-run. Do be weary of your interactions, and learn to identify this trait if needed!