Who doesn’t miss the bickering, traffic and soaring electric bills (damn Christmas lights) to get in that holiday mood? AhÃ¢Â?Â¦it’s that time of year again when that fat Elvin slave-driver in the red suit gets all the credit while I scurry to and fro gathering gifts for the relatives. That thankless chore of shopping and the look of joy on one’s face when you know you got the perfect gift
is priceless. Uh-unÃ¢Â?Â¦.not this year. This year, I am striving for the perfectly crazy gift and believe me I found it.
Nothing says crazy like a Star Wars Christmas (www.wickedcoolstuff.com). See the surprise on everyone’s face when they walk into a spacey wonderland. Yoda ornaments, Darth Vader statue and Jabba punch to welcome the birth of Christ! Program your doorbell to play the theme song instead of playing ‘Come All Ye Faithful.’ I find the trumpets in the Star Wars song are pretty good. And no one is surprised at Uncle Bob running around as Princess Leia with the frozen cinnamon rolls on his head yelling, “May the force be with you!” Insist that Grandma put the turkey in the Gamma quadrant and your craziness will be complete.
Give that skinny-totally annoying cousin, who can’t get over the Anakin wrapping paper, a nice Bacon Air Freshener. MmmÃ¢Â?Â¦you can’t actually cook yourself breakfast but why not smell it? Bask in the fried pork flesh! If you give this one to someone who is dieting, they might be more apt to hit the McD’s drive thru more oftenÃ¢Â?Â¦hehe…evil knows no bounds. Also available is the Desperate Housewives Dirty Laundry Game. All I know is it’s pretty unfair when Uncle Leia turbo blasts Bree for being too anal. But we let it slide, there wasn’t ruling on that one and Grandma says we have to be nice to crazy people.
The kids will love the Napoleon Dynamite Dance Kit. Watching little Han Solo wiggle like a microwave fried worm and accidentally slapping baby Yoda in the head with the light saber will only go down in history as a great family moment. And for those of the more religious nature, get the Nunzilla Fire Breathing Nun. At least I’ll know where to find Aunt Pearl next Sunday. In church praying to God that none of this was her idea and not hold it against her when her time comes.
My favorite, the Doggy-Doo Calendar. Nothing says good morning while looking at your schedule like a big pile of excrement. Hey, that’s how most of us feel about all those stupid little things we have to do to get through the day: traffic, bills and that irritating guy in the copy room at the office. It’s also a great way to mark of the days until the next Christmas when you can get even with your husband for cutting one go at the table and announcing, “The Empire Strikes Back!”