Over time, something happens to us – women, that is. It happens so slowly that we don’t recognize it until long after we’ve fallen victim to the trap. With marriage, busy lives full of children, obligations, priorities and other activities soon follow.
With all of these other activities, it’s difficult to find a place for lovemaking. Too often, married woman view it as something they participate in to keep their husbands happy or “just another chore”.
Ladies, it’s time to break with tradition and start making love for the pure joy of it and not out of obligation.
Here are some simple steps to breaking with the female perspective on lovemaking and joining the millions of men who can’t be wrong!
1. BE IN THE NOW
Men have an amazing ability to completely abandon all other thoughts and focus entirely on the act at hand, whether it is football or lovemaking.
On the other hand, women are masters of multi-tasking, frequently lying there thinking about the laundry sitting in the dryer getting wrinkled, the check they need to write before school tomorrow to cover the kids’ lunch accounts, and numerous other random thoughts that are necessary to keep a family running smoothly.
Your bed is not the place to multitask.
Men have an innate ability to be in the now. The next time you are having making love, instead of thinking about last night’s PTA meeting or tomorrow’s Bunco game, narrow your focus (just for now) on the part of your body that your partner is focusing on. You’ll find your pleasure will double immediately.
2. IT’S BETTER TO GIVE THAN TO RECEIVE
A man gets turned on by pleasuring you. A man gets turned on by watching you. Have you ever considered that if the roles were reversed, the same principle would be true? Have you ever considered that pleasuring your man can turn you on, too?
Open your eyes during the act and you can bet that whatever you give will be returned – with interest.
3. IT’S NOT ABOUT HOW YOU LOOK
Even when you’re having one of those self-proclaimed “fat days”, your partner hasn’t noticed. Your vagina does not get fat just because you might be retaining a little bit of water around your midsection.
Your lover doesn’t care that you are retaining water or that you ate that extra slice of pizza. When a woman feels sexy, she is apt to experience more enjoyment during lovemaking.
4. NEVER GIVE UP
A man never begins the journey into sex without following it through all the way to completion (whether you are still awake or not). Persistence, persistence, persistence. Women would be wise to follow this advice.
You have permission to have an orgasm each and every time (with or without the help of batteries). Climaxing is every man and woman’s right. Men know this and you should, too.
5. IT’S “OK” TO GET DIRTY
As boys, men grew up knowing that it was okay to splash in the rain puddle and make mud pies. As adults, that often translates to the bedroom. It’s not just about being kinky, I’m talking about something much more mundane.
Soon after moving in with my husband, I noticed he always wanted to do it the day I changed the sheets. One woman I know explained this as a man’s way of marking his territory. I’ve never figured out if it’s the smell of the fabric softener or his animal instinct, but I can bet on a great night just by changing the sheets.
6. TAKE THE LEAD, NOW AND THEN
Don’t make your husband be the one to come over to your side of the bed all of the time. There’s a lot going on over on his side. Take a trip over there. Men can be incredibly turned on not only by a woman who initiates the act, but one who takes the lead throughout.
7. TELL HIM WHAT YOU WANT
You have permission to tell your man what you want in the bedroom (and I’m not talking about paint color, here). You simply cannot expect a man to know where and how to touch you. First of all, he’s never had the parts that you have. Secondly, our bodies change, particularly after having children. Things that worked last year, may not work today. Thinks that worked yesterday, may not work today.
Much as you would like him to be, your man is not a mind-reader. Tell him what you want. Tell him what you turns you on. If you don’t know what that is, tell him and let him explore. You’ll both enjoy that safari!
8. GET A LOCK ON THE BEDROOM DOOR
With a bedroom door that is securely locked, visitors with little feet (whether of the human or animal form) can’t walk in unexpectedly even if they hear unfamiliar noises. And, you’ll be able to relax knowing you won’t be interrupted at the most inopportune time.