Problem one: Child refuses to take a nap or go to bed…
Bedtime should be a peaceful ritual not a struggle. Bedtime must be part of the daily and night routine or schedule. Some ideas you may wish to use in helping to correct this problem are:
Have naptime and bedtime at the same time and place each day and night.
Make sure bedding always fresh and clean and beds are made. A toddler especially will appreciate the neatness and order and in return will enjoy being is his cozy and peaceful sleeping space.
Keep your child’s bedroom for sleep, not the couch or your bedroom. Teach the child that we all have a special room that is our very own called a bedroom. It is where we sleep. You can make your child’s room a happy space for them by decorating it in an appealing way. Bright colors such as blue green red and yellow will help to stimulate brain productivity and learn while soft muted pastels will enhance calmness and relaxation. Try a combination of both for the perfect combination of atmosphere. Kids will be less resistant to sleep in a room that they love.
Never use threats like: “if you do not pick up your toys I will send you to bed” or say things such as: “if you are naughty is will put you to bed”. Doing so causes children to fear bedtime and feel like every time they must sleep the are being punished. When bedtime becomes a ritual done every day and night it is normal, not determined by the child’s actions, behavior or attitude. Never make your child feel controlled or bad.
Make bedtime less of a hassle by making it a special time to relax and enjoy. Read stories, talk about the day you’ve both had, share feelings, take time to reflect on the days behavior both good and bad, come up with solutions to correct unwanted actions. Do this after a wholesome and filling but small snack such as half a bran muffin and some juice or milk. Avoid anything that has sugar for this will produce energy when rest is desired. Aim for grains, proteins, or carbohydrates. Avoid foods hard to digest. A bath after talking followed by a brushing of hair and teeth will also help to calm. Keep voices and surroundings quiet and dim. Make sure child has a bathroom is lit and available. Children do not like to be in the dark. Keep light very dim however, because a light to bright keeps kids up all night!.
Problem two: Child uses unacceptable language and tone of voice
A child will only learn to speak what he has heard and learned. If you call your child stupid and tell him to shut up he will tell you the same. Is you speak softly to your child he will speak softly to you. Some steps in correcting this behavior are:
Do not swear at your child, do not make him feel bad or try to control his wants needs or desires. Children are people too.
When disciplining speak gently do not yell. Your goal should be to correct the behavior not condemn the child. Your child will use his words to produce the same reactions that you try to produce. If you intend to produce guilt as a form of punishment your child will make you feel guilty for doing so.
Understand your child’s feelings and needs when speaking to him. Do not tell him to go away when all he wants is to have a question answered. A child will produce negative behavior and social skills when he feels neglected or that you are angry with him.
Be consistent when disciplining for unacceptable behavior. If a child feels or knows that he can get away with his actions after throwing a tantrum or yelling then he will do so each and every time. Never give in. remember, do not yell, swear, degrade, or hit your child if you do not want him to do those things to you.
Problem three: Hitting, biting, throwing and breaking
These are usually reactions. To correct these behavior problems look towards the source of the outburst. Did child number one take a toy away from child number two causing the second child to retaliate? A child will only produce a negative reaction to an action that he feels to be the same. What we need to do here is study tantrum and outburst patterns. Does your child only do these things when he is tired? Hungry? Around other people? In public? Once you determine the situations the behavior occurs in you will be able to see the causes. Some steps towards correcting these types of behavior problems are:
Check your child’s schedule. Is it packed full or completely empty? Just as a child cannot be hurried and rushed constantly they cannot do nothing all day. Either of these extremes will cause a negative reaction where as a perfect combination will produce a balanced normal for both you and your child. Always plan trips out either in the morning or afternoon after a nap so that you child is not cranky and tired.
As with problem two’s corrections do not yourself perform this behavior and not expect your child to copy.
When behavior such as this occurs it is best to completely remove your child from the situation for a period of Time out. Talk about the the behavior with your child. Ask him why he did whatever he did, and then give him a better way to resolve the problem next time. Once child has full understanding of what he should and should not do and why, let him go back to the place the situation occurred. This may have to be repeated a few times.
As stated previously, try to avoid you yourself producing actions that cause negative reactions. Adjust your technique to fit your child’s needs, not your own.