Sex Before Marriage

It used to be that sex before marriage was very taboo and most waited until after they were married. Some may have waited due to religious reasons but many just felt that it was the “right thing to do”. Then the USA went through the 1960s and the whole “free love” movement and casual sex became very popular among the younger crowd. Later on, the subject of sexually transmitted diseases went public and they developed into something a bit more serious. Diseases like Herpies one never recovers from. Lately there are medications that can control outbreaks but they are not 100% effective and the disease can still be transmitted. And of course there is the HIV virus that eventually develops into AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome). It isn’t as simple as just getting a shot to get rid of some of these things. Many keep AIDS in mind but what about Hepatitis? That can be transmitted very easy.

Now someone can still contract a SDT after they’re married but the chances are far less if you’re married and in a monogamous relationship.

But let’s do a comparison here with Monogamy and Marriage. Webster defines Marriage as “the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law” and most recently added, “the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage” Monogamy is defined as “the condition or practice of having a single mate during a period of time” They are very similar. Many believe that being married isn’t really that important. If two people are in a loving and monogamous relationship that includes mutual love and respect that there is nothing wrong with having sex. If they choose without any inhibitions whatsoever to express that love physically in the form of sex that sex can be a beautiful thing. Marriage is just a piece of paper many say.

Recently I heard a young woman’s take on the subject. She told me that if a man wasn’t willing to marry her but wanted to have sex with her that she felt used. She felt that this man felt that she was good enough to have sex with but not good enough to marry. She felt that the man was displaying a big lack of respect for her and her body. That he was “using” her body. She wasn’t a virgin either but in the past year or so came to look at many things much differently.

I explained to her that I felt that it two people were in a loving and monogamous relationship and both consented that there was nothing wrong with having sex. In her words we “agreed to disagree”.

Then there is pregnancy. Sure there is many different forms of contraception available but NOTHING is 100% effective and some religions have certain views about contraception.

Some look at sex as purely a physical act and something that as humans doesn’t really separate us all that much with the other mammals on this planet. Some bring religion into it all and quote what their particular bible says about the subject.

Some of us look at ourselves as human and the fact that we naturally get urges and in the mood at times. Some feel that we should control these urges.

There are certainly several arguments about sex before marriage but I guess it all depends on how you and your significant other feel about it and just how religious you are. All in all, sex or making love can be an absolute beautiful thing. But if it’s done for the wrong reasons and not talked about with both parties in depth BEFORE it happens, it just may leave some issues with the couple.