Top 5 Reasons for Chicagoans to Vote
5. Get off work for a half hour to vote (really, it’s a law!).
4. Get cute piece of paper as receipt, which can be used as voucher for a fifth of booze in office of your corrupt local alderman.
3. Simple act makes you seem smarter, more active than most other people, meaning you can sink back into apathy and laziness as long as you mention your trip to the polls often.
2. Given free reign to complain for the next four years, “Well at least I didn’t vote for him/her”.
1. When faced with Ultimate Judgment Day, can say at least you tried to prevent the destruction of the universe (this only works if you do NOT vote republican).
