Top Ten Rejected Slogans, Catchphrases, and Offers for Dyson Vacuum Cleaners

James Dyson is that annoying Brit who tells us, after talking up his vacuum cleaners and his alleged improvement of the hot air hand dryer, that he “just things should work properly.” Here are some other slogans he tried out that failed.

10. Dyson — Because Americans will by anything from a guy with an accent.
9. “I just think appliances should look like Tupperware.”
8. Works great on cat hair or I’ll pay to have it put to sleep.
7. C’mon, you know that Oreck guy is a wanker.
6. Imagine if I put this kind of ingenuity into British dental care.
5. Dyson — The most impressively designed piece of crap you’ll find at Wal-Mart.
4. “I just think things should cost more.”
3. Dyson — Why spend $75 for a vacuum when you can pay $500 for something more pretenious.
2. Like a Kirby, only made out of the same plastic you find in promotional water bottles.
1. Our vacuums suck more than the competition.

(Disclaimer: Dyson vacuums are well respected and beloved by their owners. This Top 10 list does not reflect the opinions of AC or this broadcasting station. No dust mites were harmed in the making of this article.)