Stop calling yourself “Shy” – even when someone tells you… you’re shy, refuse and tell them no I am not shy look at them in there eyes. A simple valid reason to back this up is to tell people you do not like speaking excess and if you don’t have anything good to say you won’t say anything at all. That would be an intelligent response to someone who calls you shy.
Stop judging yourself so much – people that are less social usually critic themselves to death… when you say a sentence you think back in your head “maybe I didn’t say that right” “maybe I should have said this “maybe they took it wrong” no, just no… stop overthinking so much you’re not doing yourself any favors by doing this simply stay firm!
Do you remember the exact words that your friend told you yesterday? No right? Stop overthinking as us humans only pick up keywords of the sentence we speak… even if you don’t say something properly or clearly but you back it up being confident then nobody is going to hold a thing against you.
Make a list of your positive qualities: these could be how smart you are, emotional qualities or what girl/boys compliment you on the most your physical appearance – write them down in simple bullet point format and when you feel down… you simply read your qualities and back up you get.
Do NOT overthink – that is what kills your ability to become extra social because you could be thinking of what is next to say to someone but you’re too busy trying to process what has been said or what you said… get out of that zone, don’t take things so seriously unless you’re actually having a serious conversation that concerns your life or someone else’s life.
You need to realize not the whole world is looking at you, when you enter a train full of people inside… do you think everyone is looking at you? If you decide to speak over the phone? Do you think everyone is paying attention to what you have to say? Go back now imagine you’re a passenger and another person walks into a train do you look at them? Do you pay attention to what they’re saying… the answer is NO you don’t pay attention – everyone is caught up in there own world do not feel that you are under the spotlight of any sort because you’re not… this is what shy people do, they feel everyone is looking at them which is never the case.
Practice makes perfect – yes you have heard this plenty of times and indeed its in the wording the more you practice the better you will get… so how do you practice? You must force yourself to try speak a little more every day for example you’re going grocery shopping and the woman at the cashier is serving you… how would you strike up a conversation? A person you see in the gym, how would you strike up a conversation? Every person would do it differently according to the scenario – you simply need to try and keep trying. Think in your head “I have nothing to lose” “Nobody will bite me” you’re only being friendly and nothing else.
Being positive – nobody wants a negative person around them nor do they want to socialize with someone who will put negative thoughts in there brain… they want someone who will lift them up and give them extra knowledge that they never knew that is someone who can influence there life positively.
Stay engaging – do you like people that care for you? That takes interest in your life? That be there when you need them? Help you through your struggles… well guess what that’s what every human in the world also likes – so if you can do that for the people around you then your social life will be great, as people around you will feel “Wanted” therefore they will make you also feel “wanted”
Body language – if you’re looking to attract new people to come and approach you then the body language is completely important, do not slant, do not cross your arms and do not try to avoid eye contact these are all signs of someone who is not confident enough or socially active.
Set up more events with friends and workers outside the hours you usually meet, go to the cinema, go to the bar – have fun this will only help you get more relaxed therefore a lot more socially active.