Get Disgustingly Rich Overnight

I know! It’s SIMPLY AMAZING that getting disgustingly rich can be so easy! Disgustingly drunk – sure, but rich? In three simple steps?

No way, Jose, you say, but nay!

I’m here to pass on the secret, because… Oh, who cares about my reasons? What you want to know are WHAT ARE THE THREE SIMPLE STEPS?

ARE YOU READY?

HERE IT COMES!

SERIOUSLY!

OR, HUMOROUSLY IF YOU LIKE!

HAVE IT YOUR WAY!

HERE ARE THE THREE SIMPLE STEPS!

(THIS IS SO EXCITING, ISN’T IT?)

STEP ONE:

First, collect a great deal of money. The phrase “vast sums” is perfectly applicable here. Done that? Okay! Great! We’re moving on to step two! Are you breathless?

STEP TWO:

Simplicity itself! Take the vast sums we’ve discussed in step one, and… (Are you primed? Are you stoked? Are you squealing with excitement? Well, get ready to make some major pig noises, because here it is!)

INVEST IT WELL!

I know, it seems so easy, once you know the secret! But wait there’s more!

STEP THREE:

Two words – Loan. Sharking.

THERE IT IS! ALL YOU’LL EVER NEED TO KNOW TO BECOME DISGUSTINGLY RICH!

Now, go, hit the streets, get disgusting already!

I love you knuckleheads! Really! Come back when you want to know how to get:

DISGUSTING AMOUNTS OF SEX! FREE!

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