A Cat at Christmas

Humans do a lot of odd things, but few of them are odder than what they do at Christmas. It is a holiday made for cats and yet my humans seem to find fault with my enjoyment of these items laid out for my very own amusement.

The Tree: Most cats love trees. Lots of interesting things can be found in them, including birds and squirrels. For about three weeks my humans have the consideration to bring a tree inside just for me. It is always full of wonderful scents from the Out. Why do they say “SapphireSamuraiItoldyoutostayoutoftheChristmastree” mean?

Ornaments: These are often round balls that are fun to bat. It’s a great game. If I bat them right they come off the tree and I can chase them around and pounce on them. At first my humans used some sort of flimsy excuse for balls. They would break. Now they have chosen sturdier opponents. What does “Quitbattingtheornamentsoffthetreethat’sthethirdtimetoday” mean?

Blinking Lights: These are fascinating. I don’t really want to pounce on them but I do like to watch them flicker on and off. I’m guessing the humans actually understand that as I don’t get any weird words from them when I’m doing it.

The Village: Oh, this is almost as good as the tree. My humans have a lot of little houses with the blinking lights in them. There are little people, trees, gates and fences. All of them are just right to be batted off the tree and chased around the living room. I won’t put my typical question in here because some parts of the word might make a sailor blushâÂ?¦if I knew what a sailor was.

Tinsel: This is very important for all of you younger cats. In fact, if any humans are reading this it’s important for you as well. Tinsel is not your friend. It may feel good to chew on but if you swallow it bad things can happen. I had to spend almost forever at emergency TED’s one Christmas. It was a close call because the tinsel had twisted around inside me. If you are a cat or you’re a human with a cat, leave the tinsel in the box. It’s not worth it.

Human Note: Yes, he nearly died. The bill was huge. We’re glad he survived and we learned a valuable lesson. No tinsel is allowed in our home because he will still try to eat it.

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