Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Sweet Despite Depp’s Miscalculations

Tim Burton is weird. Let’s face, the guy is out there. But, in a good way. This makes him perfectly suited to direct the latest version of the Rauol Dahl novel, Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. The book, written in 1964 is a twisted masterpiece of cautionary tales. Nasty little children getting their horrid reward in all sorts of diabolical ways. The 1972 version starring the seminal performance of Gene Wilder was cheerier than the latest attempt.

“All I need is a tall ship and star to sail her by.” laments Wilder. Wilder however is not necessarily better, but he seemed to encompass Wonka, where Johnny Depp seems to be performing Wonka.

As a child of the 70’s I smugly felt Wonka was a movie for my generation. In 1971 when the original Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory was released I was ten years old. I was not yet jaded by manufactured Hollywood emotional pyrotechnics, nor was I groggy with adolescent lust. The characters in the movies were landmarks to me. They were the outer limits of brat- hood that I dared not cross. All behavior of myself and my peers would be judged around the five children who claimed the Golden Ticket. “Cool it dad” and “I want it and I want it NOW”, were words I would never speak, at least out loud.

Feeling quite possessive of the movie, I went into the theater to see if Burton and company measured up to my exacting standards. The answer is yes and no. I walked out wishing I could conjure up a version with Gene Wilder directed by Tim Burton. That, might have been the solution.

It pains me to say it, but Depp didn’t nail the part for me. I will duck now as all the Depp-ophiles start hurling insults at the reviewer. I love Johnny Depp. I’ve seen Edward Scissorhands, and Pirates and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas for goodness sakes. How can you not love a guy who lives in the south of France with his partner and kids and only comes to Hollywood if he has to? The guy is iconic, but he sucked at Willie Wonka.

First off was the appearance. I couldn’t get past the teeth. I distractedly wondered if he had them veneered or capped or what. They looked like pristine piano keys. The lips were collagen induced, reminiscent of a B-list starlet desperate to get a part. The hair screamed Anna Wintour the dominatrix editor in chief of Vogue magazine. When the goggles were added I was amazed at the resemblance between the two as Wintour is known for her oversized, overpriced sunglasses.
Second problem, the voice.

Depp seemed to be channeling Jim Carey in Ace Ventura Pet Detective. I half expected him to shout out “ahhhhhl-righty-then” at any moment. His smug comebacks to the rotten children, just weren’t funny, especially when compared with Wilder’s constant persnickety use of language, poetry and music to off-put his hapless guests. Depp’s witticisms fall flat even though they’re delivered in a comical way.

The third problem, which many people have already commented upon, is the unfortunate resemblance of the fictional eccentric Wonka character to the real life horror character named Michael Jackson. Though purely coincidental , the hair, the clothes and the strange childlike mannerisms are strikingly analogous.

Too bad, because the two are not alike in one most important way. Jackson likes children, and Wonka doesn’t. Wonka especially doesn’t like insolent and callous children and he gets a sadistic thrill out of their miseries . “The suspense is killing me…..I hope it lasts” croons Wilder as Augustus Gloop clogs the plumbing. This being said, the unfortunate physical appearance of Depp’s’ Wonka is the biggest dilemma I had with the movie.

Then there is the issue of the the Oompa Loompa. This maybe be politically incorrect by, I like the little people. The individuality of the diminutive tangerine colored tribe was endearing. The musical fables were easily understood and literally spelled out for you, unlike the MTV version of the carbon copy Oompa Loompas who inhabit the factory circa 2005.

With all the these bugaboos out of the way, however I can honestly say I enjoyed the movies’ many other amazing aspects. The new version took the liberty to explain the strange and complicated behavior of Mr. Willy Wonka. Wonka’s patrician struggle, with the always perfect Christopher Lee as the elder Wonka, is sublime. Willie as a young boy in his dental headgear looking like a robotic baseball catcher with a forced grin, is sweetly portrayed. Burton’s love of the funny looking guy with a heart is apparent here.

The children of the movie are also sufficiently obnoxious, even if Veruca doesn’t scream quite as much as the original. It’s quite obvious she is a sophisticated bitch and an the ultra ‘mean girl’ struggle between the equally competitive Violet is a hoot to watch. “Lets be friends” Veruca purrs to Violet. “Best friends” Violet slyly answers, while it’s no mystery both girls would rather be sucked up into the chocolate pipe than to really become friends.

The parents of these brats are wonderfully portrayed in all their sinful weaknesses. The glutton is the same, but the other kids have been modernized. Mike TV doesn’t just like television. He is the manifestation of a video game brain that has been so desensitized to violence that the only way he can enjoy himself is to kick the living daylights out of inanimate balls of candy.

Violet is caught up in a vicarious circle with her mother, who to call competitive is a bit like saying it’s hot on the sun. Violet had a Madonna-esque quality in her blonde ambition, blatant and overwhelming. She was picture perfect and scarily reminiscent of a lot of children roaming the world today.

This leads us to Charlie. Charlie is played by the indistinguishable looking Freddie Highmore. This ‘every child’ quality however goes a long way in believability and especially likeability. One can’t help but root for Charlie as he is quite obviously an extraordinary boy. He is strong in character and although poverty stricken, is rich in many ways starting with his unusual family.

Charlie has a dad this time and a bed stricken group of grandparents who are his biggest supporters. Giving the grandparents more prominence is a great move on Burton’s part. You can’t go wrong with a group of prominent English actors who have more personality in their eyebrows than most younger players do in their entire repertoire. Uncle Joe is marvelous with a face that implies age, wisdom and especially humor.

Of course everyone is rooting for Charlie, it’s quite obvious from the beginning what an exceptional boy he is. Assuming most everyone knows the story by now, it’s not a spoiler to say that Charlie wins and becomes a chocolate maker extraordinaire but in the newest version, Willie Wonka wins also. I won’t divulge how or what, but it was quite charming to observe.

The 2005 version may not go down as the cult classic of the original, but it’s by far the best summer movie out there. One that visually dazzles and endearingly entertains, and this my friends is the ‘golden ticket”!

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