Couples usually know before their child is even born the way both the man and woman, separately and together, are going to act when it comes to parental control setting and how to get respect from their son or daughter as they grow older. In fact, it is not uncommon for the couple to even joke about it , or even be proud of their respective stances on rules and punishment. Occasionally, both parents will hold the same values and standards when it comes to parental control setting and learning how to get respect, but more often than not, probably due to their individual upbringing, the mom and dad will choose to handle issues differently and from the beginning the couple and probably everyone else that is close to them in their lives can delineate clearly which one of them is going to be the stickler for the rules and which one will be a slight pushover. It is quite obvious which parent will spoil the kid rotten and which one will carefully pay attention to the future consequences before showering the kid with unending attention. Parental control setting. It can be complicated.
This diversity between the mom and dad is only to be expected, and is okay to joke around about during pregnancy of in the very early stages of the child’s development if done lightly and somewhat in jest. But it is extremely important that as the son or daughter grows older and older, this difference in discipline standards and parental control setting becomes a less apparent dichotomy. If it does not cease to be blatantly different between mom and dad, it opens the door for the child to manipulate the parents, especially during the teenage years when getting what one wants is crucial to a good social life. Additionally, it can cause strain between the parents, which can lend to an undertone of animosity in the relationship and frequent altercations. Furthermore, these ensuing arguments more often than not occur right in front of the kid(s)- maybe even about the kids- and for obvious reasons, that is not healthy for a developing child to get used to being around.
Kids are going to go their own ways sooner or later and many times, due to influences away from home, what the parents do at home, the level of strictness they exude in their parental control setting, ends up doing little once the kid is influenced by the world outside the family. However, their home life and the parental controls they experience does at least matter a little bit and parents should do whatever they can to make that little bit count. For if that little bit of conditioning form the family assumes a strong and stable force in the child’s life and frame of thinking, the chances that a newly independent, un-chaperoned young adult will maintain good values and make proper smart decisions on their own is more likely.
Subsequently, both the mother and father need to build up credibility through efficient parental control setting so that in their son or daughter’s eyes, both parents are independent and also operating together as a unit. This is a notion that couples tend to easily forget to work on , and granted it’s quite difficult and intimidating to constantly practice- but it is a strategy that if done correctly, can subtly aid in shaping the child’s successful future the way the parents so desire in an immense way. For if the child sees his or her parents as authoritatively qualified and truly values what it is that they say to them, when they are out in the world (the child) facing their own decisions, there is less of a chance that they will feel the need to rebel, as many young adults do, and be more apt to use the lessons the parents taught them, as a natural response because it was exposed to them with such a stable force through careful parental control setting.
So how do parents earn credibility in their child’s eyes and establish ideal parental control settings? What are the parental secrets out there? When it comes to the issue of how to get respect and develop a strong parental control setting, there are many different methods, each unique to every family out there. Surely there are plenty of parental secrets about how to get respect that we can’t even fathom at the time being. But whether you decide to implement other parental control settings you discover through your friends’ parental secrets, this one is the root of all stable family relationships and should be used first and foremost, at least as a trial run to see if it works, whether other methods are used alongside of it or not.
The solution to the question of how to get respect as mom and dad and how to develop a constructive parental control setting is simple: The parental secret is simply that the mom and dad must operate as a like minded team while in front of the child or children. This is tough, and easy to neglect, but is a real great way to strengthen a family bond and develop trust among all family members. Many couples, as mentioned previously, allow it to be way too clear to the child that , say one is lenient and one is strict, and that when it comes to setting rules for the kid they often struggle to come to a mutual decision. While it’s hard to avoid, couples really should try to display themselves as more on the same level because kids will see their parents weaknesses and they eat it up. They know who to go to for what and they certainly use the knowledge liberally. Furthermore, whether it’s something stored in their subconscious mind or not, it is very likely impressed upon them that their parent or parents both are passive or passive-aggressive in their communication techniques and the reaction that most people have when constantly experiencing this (passive) behavior in someone they care about is that they often pity the needy, weak person and lose a little respect for them that they can’t stick up for themselves. Again, at a young age the child might not realize that this impression is imprinting in his brain, but psychological experiments and real life stories from current mental patients pretty much have proven that the information still sinks in and carries itself into the future in the child’s subconscious mind.
This important parental secret is not suggesting that the mother or father change their outlooks on life and on discipline and on the entire parental control setting, but it simply requires the disagreements to be discussed and worked out behind the scenes rather than right in front of the child. It may be a really difficult task for you and your child’s other parent to come to conclusions on important parental matters involving the discipline or lack of in regards to the son or daughter, but just like any disagreement you’ve had as a couple along the way, you find a way to work it out through some sort of discussion most likely. If that were not the case, you wouldn’t still be together and in the rare case that you are not together, but simply operate as friends, once lovers, who happened to share a child, you wouldn’t have been able to make it through the pregnancy stages and the early childhood without one of you becoming frustrated and doing something drastic like taking off. So the parental secret has proven to be possible. You’ve shown each other that despite your differing views on things, you can and will always come to some sort of compromise. Therefore when it comes to making decisions, specifically related to what the young adult can do and not do (i.e. date) the parents would be best off discussing their individual views in a separate room and coming to a mutual agreement before telling the child their answer. It cannot be stressed how important this is when it comes to how to gain respect from your children and develop a high level of credibility. Sticking to this technique is beneficial in many ways. One, the child grows up with consistency. With every tough decision, it is routine and expected for the parents to talk it over and then present him or her with an answer as a team. This consistency shows stability and good family bond and values, not to mention respect toward mom and dad together and also toward the child, as they are actually taking the time to discuss the matter rather than blurting out a no you cant go to the movies with brian or whatever the situation might call for. Ultimately, the child gets conditioned to see parents working together in a cordial manner as a standard for the basic family practices and will hopefully take those values along with them as they grow up and even further down the road when they get married and/or have kids of their own.
And a consequence of greater importance when it comes to using this method when learning how to get respect from a child through parental control settings, is that the child will rarely, if ever, experience the parents fighting with one another. So many parents today find it simply too much of an effort (and granted, it must be terribly difficult) to postpone a fight until the two of them are out of kids earshot especially when it begins with underhanded, subtle comments of hostility or facial expressions and sighs that reek of annoyance and condescending haughtiness. But aside from the public fighting to be a bad environment for the kid to be in for the obvious reasons, it also weakens the entire family unit and likely results in an involuntary lack of trust and respect from the child toward one or both parents. And when that respect is gone, this is when the child might be more likely to go astray and rebel. For if mom and dad show weakness and a lack of credibility from the beginning, the child, when approaching young adulthood is not going to take very seriously their warnings, casual lectures and attempts to portray genuine concern over their well being because, well, they’ve lost some respect for the parents over the years and it may take a long time and a lot of roller coaster experiences to repair this deficit.