Being Overly Conscious of True Love in Society

We live in America, land of the free, and home of the emotionally constipated. We as a society are and have been shoving an immense amount of “love” into our minds and souls that it is beginning to clog us up. One might say that we as a society truly needs to digest a double-dose of emotional Ex-Lax in order purge ourselves of the toxins that we have allowed to fill our minds; a mental colonic if you will.

“So what’s so wrong with being conscious of something that I want?” Really nothing, it is absolutely the truth that you must be conscious of what you want and need in life. If you aren’t connected with your emotional requirements, than you won’t know what you DO need and what you DON’T need.

It is when you become overly conscious of a particular situation or object that you cross over the border into very dangerous, and seemingly constipating, territory. Being SO overly conscious of a possession or a soon-to-be-possession is an extremely unhealthy and massively addicting trait to obtain.

If a person’s concentration is centered solely on their weight, there is then a whole plethora of issues that follow the state of mind she/he has adopted as their own. An example of the problems is one might find themselves trapped in excessive dieting, which in turn can destroy ones metabolism, and eventually if the obsession progresses, he or she’s fixation will digress into an eating disorder. At the root of the fixation lies a point when the obsessed begins to compare their uniqueness to other individuals’, by which in doing so they are invoking a force well outside of their control – that of envy, jealousy, and a type of betrayal. One must realize that they are an amazing individual – an INDIVIDUAL – not a part of anything else in this entire world, and by comparing oneself to another human the consequences are nothing short of disastrous. It is extremely evident that the presence of obsession, fascination, or anything of the like has horrendous penalties – some of which might even last a lifetime.

I once had a friend who was so fanatical about finding her “one true love,” she constantly was betraying her current boyfriends up for another man. But, in a frantic race to the telephone she would reconcile with the previous boyfriend afraid that he actually was her true love. A few months would pass by, and the process would start again. Her life became a twisted game of merry-go-round – a carousal of love obsession.

She was so passionate about finding “the one,” she could never be happy with her current relationships. Constantly, she would find little things that would cause a slight bump in the road, and use those as “signs” that they were not intended to be together. The truth is, there is always going to be little quirks that will cause these proverbial bumps on the relationship road. But one must realize that these quirks an individual acquires is what makes them who they are. Not one human on this wonderfully eclectic earth is absolutely perfect – there is always going to be “something.” The key is knowing when this “bump” is a pebble on the road or a bolder.

Before we move on, I must reveal the truth about a popular notion that has swept away the minds of millions of people. The whole, Mr. Right, Ms. Right is somewhat out-dated and frankly not true. Though there is someone that is completely right for you, there is always going to be give-and-take in the relationship. So the previous notion of there being someone completely perfect, someone without any individualistic quirks is absolutely false. And this thinking pattern will only lead its followers to a destination of failure in relationships.

In all honesty, there is a real danger in being overly conscious in finding your true love. Dangers that will ultimately cause you to never find “the one.” This effect of being overly conscious is one that many people refuse to accept.

If you continue to follow in this mental pathway, then you run the risk of completely bypassing your true love. You may ask yourself, “how can this be?” The answer is when you become so concentrated on a particular thought pattern (i.e., searching for your true love) your openness to new people – new relationships becomes more broad. So as you hop from one relationship to another, you are more likely to miss the one person that is right for you because of the chaos you are enduring.

The reason for this is due to the fact that while you are involved in a non-compatible relationship, the truly compatible one passes you by. Since most individuals have a phobia of being alone, they settle for someone who really isn’t attuned for them. But they would rather have someone who they can tolerate, than actually waiting for their true love.

“But the only way to find someone is to date around, and hopefully find my true love.” That statement is completely false. Don’t get me wrong, you can do the above, but don’t expect to find a true, committed relationship. The reason for this is because if your partner is like you, the two of you won’t be dating very long. Another aspect is if they are looking for a long-term committed relationship, and you are just “browsing,” you will not only be hurting yourself, but the other person as well.

The conception of searching for your true love does not mean to date anyone who finds you interesting. It means being aware of yourself, being aware of your needs, but not possessed by them. To find someone, you must first find yourself. And whenever you truly understand yourself, then you will be able to understand potential “loves.” And being able to understand a “potential” will allow you to see if one, you’re compatible, and two if this individual fits your categories of love. Saving you both time and heartache.

In a “control-freak” society, the notion of letting destiny take it’s course is completely ridiculous. Especially since that most of us don’t even believe in destiny, most of us believe that life is full of coincidences. That nothing is pre-ordained to happen, they just do.

As one woman I interviewed stated, “I used to (believe in destiny), but as I have matured I think it’s more realistic that you have complete control of your own happiness and not outside elements. I choose to believe I am destined to have a rewarding love life because I’m willing to give as must as I expect from my lover.”

I believe that she hit the nail right on the head with that statement. My philosophy in life always has and always will be, if you’re unhappy with any situation in your life, there is no reason why you must stay in that state of unhappiness. No human deserves to live in misery, the mind and soul was meant to rejoice in life, don’t sell yourself short to complete happiness. You must realize that you are not living your life for anyone else.

Do not let anything or anyone keep you from achieving your maximum in life, not only in love, but also in every facet of living!

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