Breaking News: Pres. Bush Learns that Osama Bin Laden is Still Around

On Tuesday, Pres. Bush likened Osama Bin Laden to Lenin and Hitler. Putting aside for the momen that Lenin oversaw the deaths of fewer human beings than Bush himself and that Stalin was probably the guy he was really thinking about, this marks the first time in months if not years that Pres. Bush has mentioned Bin Laden in such absolute terms. Perhaps he was ignoring Bin Laden because he didn’t want to bring up the unpleasant fact that despite being the Commander in Chief of the most technologically advanced nation in the history of the world, Pres Bush still hasn’t been able to find one guy hiding in a cave.

Well, with approval ratings higher than his IQ, but still lower than the preferred proof of alcohol that Dick Cheney likes to swig before going out and hunting quail, and with a good likelihood of losing a significant number of Congressional elections this fall, sometimes you just have to bite the bullet. What is worse? Reminding voters as the fifth anniversary of 9/11 approaches that YOU STILL HAVEN’T CAUGHT THE GUY RESPONSIBLE or scaring the crap out of them by falsely comparing a GUY STILL HIDING IN A CAVE to Hitler.

Is there anyone who couldn’t have predicted which path Herr Bush would choose?

Why is never a lone gunman around when you really need one?

As the elections draw near – if you are still undecided about returning your local Congressman back to his job in Washington, just remember this: The GOP loves to say they are the only party that can protect you. Yet THEY CAN’T FIND ONE GUY HIDING IN A CAVE AFTER FIVE YEARS.

A change would do you good. Kick the bastard do-nothing GOP Congressmen and Senators out. I mean, maybe the Democrat who replaces him won’t do any better. But, hell, is there any way humanly possible they could do worse?

FIVE YEARS LATER AND THE GOP CAN’T FIND A GUY HIDING IN A CAVE. If Osama really is the inheritor of Hitler, what chance are we going to have to stop them with a President and Congress who CAN’T FIND ONE GUY HIDING IN A CAVE FOR FIVE YEARS.

Oh sure, we can invade a country that had nothing to do with 9/11. And we can capture and jail a guy who had nothing to do with 9/11. And we defeat their army and bring democracy to them as they welcome us with open arms….oh, wait…we can’t do that either.

Um, just why is it that the GOP still ranks highly in terms of national security?

Oh, I know, because nothing bad has ever happened on American soil during their watch.

Oh, wait..Bush had been President for nine months when twenty or so Muslim guys who’d been learning to fly planes, but not to land them flew planes into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. But that’s not his fault, he had no way of knowing that.

Except that he’d been given a memo just weeks before warning not only that Osama Bin Laden was preparing to strike against the US, but was considering using hijacked planes and missiles.

Okay, now I’m thoroughly confused. Why does ANYONE still think the GOP can protect this country?

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