Choosing the Best Bed and Mattress for Married Couples

Sharing bedspace is one of the most challenging parts of marriage, whether couples realize it or not. Sleeping is an activity about which most people are very particular, and sometimes tastes and needs don’t mesh between partners. When you first get married, it’s best to go shopping and find a new bed that both of you can enjoy.

Here, I’ve outlined the factors that go into choosing a bed, and I’ve given advice on how to compromise when you and your partner can’t agree.


When my husband and I got married, we argued constantly about mattresses because he likes a soft bed while I need a firm one. We went to countless mattress stores and lay on scores of different brands, trying to find one upon which we both could agree. There are lots of different options from which to choose, and we found ourselves overloaded by the sheer number of choices.

The most expensive option for couples that need different types of mattresses is the Sleep Number bed. It is essentially an air mattress that allows couples to change the level of firmness from one side to the other via a remote control. Using this option, the right side of the bed could be soft, while the left side could be firm. We tried this mattress, but it wasn’t worth the expense, and we really didn’t find it comfortable regardless of the remote feature.

You might also consider a Tempur Pedic or Memory Foam mattress, which conforms to the shape and weight of your body using complex fibers. When one partner moves during the middle of the night, the other doesn’t feel it, and it eliminates many common back and muscle pains. This is the type of mattress we chose.

You can also get a Memory Foam pad to lay on top of your current mattress. Most pads, or “toppers,” cost as little as $150, and can really make a difference in your sleeping situation.


Until I was twenty, I slept on a double bed, and was completely comfortable. I move around a lot at night, so it gave me plenty of room to travel. When I got married, I discovered that a double bed isn’t always adequate for two people, especially if both like their space at night.

Talk openly with your partner about the size of the bed, and determine what is right for you. For tall people, you might want to consider a California King, which gives an extra 4-6 inches in length. Some couples are comfortable on a Queen mattress, which is seven inches wider than a double, while others prefer a King mattress, which is more than a foot wider than a double.

Bed Frames

Most mattress companies offer a free frame with a mattress and box springs purchase, and some offer either a free frame or free delivery. The frame that comes with your mattress will be a simple metal rectangle upon which your mattress will sit; it does not come with a headboard or footboard.

In my experience, I have found that a more elaborate marital bed is more conducive to a happy marriage. Your bedroom is you and your partner’s sanctuary – the room in the house that belongs to just the two of you, regardless of who else resides in your home. Also, a fancier frame with a headboard can offer more comfortable sleep and even storage options.

Some frames have drawers in the base that allow for storage under the bed, which is an asset. Others have heavy frames that rest on ornately carved feet with matching headboard and footboard. Go shopping at a furniture store and look at the different options before deciding on what to buy. You might also want to look online and get an idea of what you’re looking for. Try Star Furniture’s or Ashley Furnture’s websites.

The most important thing is that this process must be completed by both partners. Choose something that you both like, and you’ll be much happier with your bedroom.

Matching Furniture

At furniture stores, you can find matching furniture to make your bedroom more complete. Dressers, shelves, nightstands, lamps and vanities are just a few of the options that come with bed frames. I personally prefer an eclectic array of furniture that matches, but not exactly.

Shopping for bedroom furniture is a fun activity for both partners. Make this an exciting expenditure that allows you to stretch your creative genius and leaves you excited to go to bed every night. The bedroom shouldn’t be a room that’s thrown together with whatever is available – you should concentrate on the bedroom more than any other room in the house.

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