How to Be a Horrible Single Mom

This article applies to you if: You were never married, but have children with a great dad who truly loves his children.

First refuse to file for child support to keep him from starting to process to his rights and court ordered visitation. That you can dictate when he can see them.

Your reasons for keeping the children from him are as follows:

– He met someone new and is serious with that person and wants the children to get to know her better

– You are insanely jealous because you, yourself cannot sustain a meaningful relationship

Then go ahead and do as many of the following:

-You make a huge deal out of petty things just to be able to call him

-You make up lies and tell your children to go to tell the “new girlfriend”

-Make up a silly nickname that you call the significant other and refuse to use her proper name and tell your children if they use the proper name they will be disowned

-You continually tell the children that their dad is coming “home”

-You get members of the family involved to try to sideswipe the significant other

-You call the kid’s dad’s mom and tell her about all the relations you are “still having” with her son

-You call the significant other and tell her a variety of things trying to get her to leave

-Every time you see the significant other, go ahead and tell her vulgar things like:

“Tell (kid’s dad) thanks for the (4 letter word) the other day”

-When you find out the father of your children is engaged you threaten to kill yourself and the children if he refuses to come “home”

-When that doesn’t work, call the entire family up and tell them you’re pregnant again

-When all else fails go ahead and remove the children from seeing their father for approximately 6 months. This will teach him to move on.

Years later, if your hate for the new family the children’s dad has is not quite obvious to everyone, and even if they can tell, keep trying to out do yourself. For example:

Once the father of your children and his wife begin trying for a baby, tell your children that the new wife is cheating on their dad, and name someone the kids know, but do not like.

As soon as you receive the news that the wife is indeed pregnant, go ahead and start the paperwork for child support. Your jealousy won’t be able to stop you. Even if the father is extremely happy that he’ll finally get his rights and visitation schedule court ordered.

If you don’t have a restraining order placed on you yet, go ahead and call the police and make false accusations against the father of your children, that way you can claim he’s bothering you and you can feel like its almost real – even though he has not contacted you in months. Sure, the court won’t find him guilty, but you’ll be wasting tax dollars and everyone’s time. You’ll surely tick off the judge, but it’s totally worth it to you because you get to see the kid’s dad at least 3 or 4 times for court.

Now once the father is paying child support and isn’t sending the thousands of dollars a month that you were expecting. But he is paying the court ordered amount of a few hundred, tell the children that he’s not contributing therefore he cannot spend time with them. Be sure to have them call their dad, crying, asking for more money.

It may seem like all of your efforts are useless because your children have now begun to lie to you, they tell you they hate her and their new sibling – yes that baby is in fact their flesh and blood, and when you do drop them off to see their dad, they get excited and run up to greet the wife and new baby. You may or may not accept the fact that they have welcomed their father’s new life with open arms. If it does bother you, go ahead and continue with more strange and bizarre lies that you’re sure no one really believes. But you’ve come this far, what’s the point of moving on with your own life and trying to be happy in a different relationship.

If you find yourself doing ANY of the examples or suggestions in this article you have succeeded in becoming a biological mother from hell. Congratulations. Your children will probably need years of therapy, but you aren’t keeping their best interests in mind, why bother to get them the help they desperately need now.

Your mind games and manipulating have become second nature to you, absolutely no one understands you and probably never will, if you even tell the truth. But at this point, you would be so warped that any shred of honesty would be very difficult to muster up. Enjoy the remaining years of your life, alone, unless you can get another man to impregnate you. Go ahead and start the vicious cycle over again once he leaves you, which he most likely will do. People tend to see through to crap eventually. Cheers!

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