Picture it –
you’re 47 years old, you exercise everyday, buy your skincare at the cosmetic counter of an upscale department store, and you make sure you’re wearing something soft and subtle when you go to bed just in case he’s in the mood. It’s been weeks and you’re really getting to the point where you need to be held by him, stroked by him, and told you look beautiful. You need sex. Meanwhile, he’s already snoring. Sound familiar? Maybe it’s time for you to look into the problem. Many men by age 40 are on medication for hypertension, high cholesterol, diabetes
or some other illness that affects them sexually by either lack of libido or lack of erection. It’s wonderful that these drugs can stabilize a condition that may otherwise kill them. But, where does that leave the woman in his life?
Women may also suffer from some of these same conditions to say nothing of the struggle through debilitating troubles that accompany reproductive organs and/or menopause. However, it’s a known fact that women tend to do more research to find answers. As we move into the 21st century, men and women have so many resources at their fingertips, such as the Internet, books, and magazines relating to health issues. However, the most important resource of all is your doctor. Most men are unwilling to discuss erectile dysfunction with anyone including their spouse or doctor, thus, forecasting a very grim future for a healthy sexual relationship.
On the other hand, his partner is determined to enjoy the second half of her live, which includes sexual intimacy. In this situation, what can a woman do when her partner is reluctant or embarrassed to look for a solution? Here are a few suggestions:
Talk to each other:
Couples need to sit down and talk seriously about their feelings and needs. Women should explain that although you are entering the second phase of your life, it is important, not only to you to continue to have a healthy sex life, it’s essential for a happy relationship. This doesn’t mean you expect a roll in the hay every night. In fact, most women are happy with plenty of foreplay without intercourse. However, your partner needs to understand that going without sex altogether is not an option you’ll accept.
Go with him to the doctor:
Insist on accompanying him to the doctor’s office including the examination room as most men find it very difficult to explain their symptoms so you will be there to fill in the blanks.
If your man is suffering from a condition that requires drugs that cause erectile dysfunction, it’s very important to discuss with the doctor the possibility of finding other medications that may decrease or eliminate these side effects. Unfortunately, in many cases this is not an option.
The next step would be to ask the doctor to suggest a counselor or therapist who specializes in sexual health. This is may be a tough one if your partner uncomfortable with the idea. The doctor needs to encourage him that by talking to a specialist may necessary to get to the root of the problem.
Communication and Self-help books:
Men tend to focus on intercourse as the most important aspect to sexual enjoyment. You must convince him that this is absolutely not true. Give him a quick anatomy course and show him what is pleasurable to you. Hopefully, this action will lead to some real action, but if not, then lead him to the computer to check out www.amazon.com. There are dozens of books that focus on sexual dysfunction and alternatives to the traditional sex.
Here’s a couple to check out:
Ã¢Â?Â¢Let Me Count the Ways: Discovering Great Sex Without Intercourse by Marty Klein, Riki Robbins
Ã¢Â?Â¢Everything You Know About Love and Sex Is Wrong: Twenty-Five Relationship Myths Redefined to Achieve Happiness and Fulfillment in Your Intimate Life by Pepper, Ph.D. Schwartz
Let your partner know that sexual intimacy can be most enjoyable without intercourse; therefore, the pressure to perform is off his shoulders.
It’s important to have an open mind when attempting to conquer problems in the bedroom. The idea of sex toys often causes conservative couples to blush. However, both parties should understand that the use of artificial sexual stimulation is accepted widely among couples today, young or old, traditional or untraditional. There are oodles of erotic books, scented oils, or sex paraphernalia that together you can seek out and enjoy. Two popular online stores are www.mypleasure.com and www.intimate-pleasures.net. Ordering such items online may make you feel more comfortable than buying them at the adult bookstore down the street. If you feel you are not ready for the blatantly obvious merchandise, visit www.scentsations4you.com and/or www.redenvelope.com and discover more romantic and discreet objects of pleasure. Let me stress that if your man is not receptive to this type of stimulation, you can use most of these types of items alone. In many cases this leads to the sexual satisfaction she is lacking with her partner. There’s nothing wrong with going solo if the end result is a happy relationship.
Fortunately, because sex is discussed more openly today that it was thirty or forty years ago, couples in the second stage of their lives are able to work together to find a solution, which will lead to a happy sexual relationship for years to come. Just remember women; a little nudging from you can make a world of difference.