How to Survive Spring Break

You’ve heard all your friends talking about it and you’ve watched endless hours of coverage on MTV from the time you were ten. You never got to go to summer camp but now, by gum, you’re going to go on Spring Break!

Congratulations! Spring Break is a magical time for many: the twilight between the rigors of higher education and the clammy hand of Your Professional Future that rests on your shoulder. Hope springs eternal, even for the geeks in the Math Club, that this trip will be the one you talk about in your dotage.

Before you get too carried away, however, take a moment to envision the end of your trip: are you in jail? In the hospital? Have you accidentally enlisted in the French Foreign Legion? Maybe we should think about this for a moment.

Think of me as the big brother who’s been there but managed to avoid jail time, and trust me when I say this: a little preparation is going to go a long way. The following items are easily obtained but essential:

Bail Money: Keep an extra $200 at the bottom of your bag: if you don’t need it, your roommate will. You can borrow this from someone because you’re NOT going to spend it unless you need it, right? Don’t tell anyone else about it or else it will be spent on the next round of “shooters.”

Maps: You don’t have to be Magellan, but you also don’t want to be stuck in the middle of nowhere without knowing how to get back to your room. A little web research and a call to your hotel will provide you with all you need.

Aspirin: ‘Nuff said.

Condoms: Regardless of your sex, safe sex.

Sun Tan Lotion: All it takes is one post-margarita snooze in the afternoon sun to force you indoors for the rest of the trip. Your mom was right, so stop your whining and put it on. This goes for the condoms as well.

Bottled Water, Saltines: Your “stomach” might get “upset.”

Disposable Camera: You will want pictures of most of your trip, but you don’t want to worry about leaving your camera on the table while you hit the bathroom.

Information Sheet: Numbers to the nearest U.S embassy, local hospitals, airports, taxi services. Most information can be found on Leave a copy of these numbers with someone at home. You should also check here for travel advisories and vaccination warnings. This might be a good time to play the game called, “If I were only allowed to make one phone call, who would I call?”

Friends: “Don’t go anywhere without one.” Yes, she’s hot, but ask if she has a friend/sister for your roommate. All you have to do is look at the news to realize that going solo is loco.

Armed with these tools and a decent toothbrush, you can relax and enjoy your Spring Break. Now all you have to worry about are the pictures on your roommate’s cameraâÂ?¦

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