I seem to wake up naturally each morning, as the BBC news radio program I fall asleep with magically becomes NPR’s Morning Edition
by dawn. But not everyone’s circadian rhythm functions without prodding by an alarm clock, and some folks need especially shrill and piercing alarm clocks in order to get out of bed sans snoozing. For those heavy sleepers seeking the loudest alarm clocks in the world, here is a guide. At 95 decibels or higher, these clocks will probably wake up your neighbours too.
Loudest Alarm Clocks: 1. Wake Assure by Ameriphone
(available at www.clarityproducts.com, www.seniorshops.com, and other sites)
I found this alarm clock on a website for senior citizens, so it takes nothing for granted about one’s abilities to respond to stimuli. Combining the triple threat of a 95-decibel alarm, a bed shaker, and a flashing lamp, the Wake Assure will assault your collective senses of hearing, touch, and sight. Including a 9-volt battery backup, this fool-proof, multi-corded contraption is one of the loudest and most versatile alarm clocks in the world – any snoozer will dread it. The Wake Assure retails between $60-75.
Loudest Alarm Clocks: 2. Sonic Boom Alarm Clock
(available at www.seniorshops.com and other sites)
Sold with (~$70) or without (~$45) the bedshaker, the Sonic Boom Alarm Clock is close competition for the Wake Assure. It contains an AC outlet on the back into which you can plug a houselamp for coordinated flashing. It also has the 9-volt battery backup for extra peace of mind. At 98 decibels, this white and green clock is ugly in appearance but effective in its task of waking up your lazy ass.
Loudest Alarm Clocks: 3. Magellan’s Super Loud Travel Alarm Clock
(available at www.magellans.co.uk)
With 84- and 100- decibel settings, this battery-operated travel clock will give the whole hotel a wake-up call. Of course, if you don’t mind feeding it lots of AA batteries, it can be your home alarm clock too. Small, attractive, and without the extra contraptions, this light sells for about 20 pounds ($38). Remember to factor in shipping from Britain.
Loudest Alarm Clocks: 4. Screaming Meanie
(available at Assisted Access – NFSS communications: www.nfss.com)
Although it’s not designed as a conventional alarm clock, this is one of the loudest things on the market. Featuring three settings, 70, 90, or a whopping 120 decibels, the Screaming Meanie is mean indeed. This alarm clock requires a three-button shut off so that you can’t just casually hit snooze. It’s also programmable based on the total sleep time you want to elapse in addition to “regular” clock time. Operating on a 9-volt battery only, this unit sells for about $40.
Loudest Alarm Clocks: 5. Banshee Screamer Alarm
available at www.freedownloadscenter.com and other download sites
Want to save some money? Instead of buying a loud alarm clock, download one for free. Created by Steve Hanov, the Banshee Screamer’s volume will depend on your computer’s speakers, but these days, so many people use their computers for music and movies that the machine’s sound system may have louder capabilities than any commercial alarm clock. It all depends on your computer.
Know of an even louder alarm clock? Add a comment to this article.