Sarmassophobia: A Fear of Dating

Many in today’s society fear getting out there and dating again, this fear is valid and real. Sarmassophobia is fear of love play. Some of the characteristics of someone who has Sarmassophobia are:

  • A general nervousness when attending a social function with someone new for an entire evening
  • Nervousness about the sexual consequences of going on a date
  • Fear of rejection from the date

Those who are dating shy or getting back into the dating game feel pressure to make a good impression and to have their date like them right off the bat. If this seemingly does not happen after several dates, they tend to lean towards avoiding relationships all together because of feelings of being undesirable.

When starting to date or getting back into the dating scene, because there is really no surefire way to plan the perfect date, having in mind exactly what you want can take the pressure off. What is your motive for dating is it just to have fun, or to find a potential marriage mate. Knowing the other person’s feelings along this line can save you a lot of time in the beginning.

Possible actions to overcome Sarmassophobia?

  • Being open and honest and admitting your fear can often times make you more attractive to that person because it shows you have a sensitive side
  • Analyze your actual fear, does it stem from maybe a fear of intimacy, the opposite sex or just spending time with someone new in general
  • Seek out someone you would be comfortable being friends with to go on a date with
  • Tell yourself in advance that the worst thing that could happen on your date is the two of you are not compatible

Remember that there is no such thing as the perfect date, the perfect man or woman. Start slow, with time the relationship may grow and it may not. Do not be so overcome by nerves that you forget to be a good listener. Find out all you can about that person, ask questions such as “so what is it you do to occupy your time?” The answer will be what is most endearing to them, whether it is their job, a hobby or a beloved interest. Even if you know exactly what it is, keep the conversation going by asking him/her to expand on it, people love sharing where there heart is and love even more having you hang on to every word. So get out there and go for it.

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