Sick Sad Week: The Best of the Worst of the Week that Ended July 30, 2006

The Passion of the Gibson

Pity poor Mel Gibson. First he’s attacked for making an anti-semitic movie about the famous Jew of all time, then he’s forced to defend himself against the sins of his father, a dedicated and outspoken Holocaust denier. Now it’s gotten even worse. Mel Gibson was arrested on DUI charges, and as if that weren’t enough it is has now gone beyond the rumor stages to the probably true stage that he went on an profanity-laden anti-semitic rant during his arrest. A copy of an allegedly authentic police report claims that Mel Gibson asserted that the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world. Mel, Mel, MelâÂ?¦if only you’d said that the Jews are responsible for the current war you wouldn’t be facing the prospect that your career is about to come to an end simply because there are some people in Hollywood who might consider you a fascist little Nazi. But to say that the Jews are responsible for all the wars? I don’t even think Hitler would have bought that.

Two Dollars for the Poor, Two Million for the Rich

Did you know that if the minimum wage had increased at the same rate as gasoline prices since George W. Bush took office that it would now stand at $12.50 per hour? Yet Republicans are wringing their hands over the pressure being brought to bear to raise the minimum wage, something that hasn’t been done since 1997. So in other words a person working forty hours a week in 1997 earned $206 before taxes and probably spent between $30 and $50 a week on gasoline, since the average gas price hovered around $1.40 back then. This year a person earning minimum wage would still be earning $206 a week but spending between $60 and $80 a week on gasline. So nearly half a minimum age worker’s GROSS income might very well be going to pay for gasoline. But that’s not considered such a hardship by Republicans in Congress that it needs to be addressed either by raising the minimum wage or by doing something about rising gas prices. On the other hand, those very same Republicans think that people like Paris Hilton and George W. Bush’s twin daughters are hardship cases, so therefore they consider it one of their most urgent and top priorities to get rid of the estate tax so that Paris Hilton and George W. Bush’s daughters can inherit even more millions. After finally being forced by members of their own party who don’t relish the prospect of running for re-election in which their Democrat counterparts constantly air commercial showing how they didn’t think people deserved a rise in the minimum wage, the Republicans reluctantly agreed to raise it. On one condition: That the Paris Hilton Estate Tax also be rolled back. So if you think that minimum wage workers are a bunch of crybabies and that Paris Hilton deserves even more money so she can continue to be a celebrity without possessing on iota of talent, then please vote for you Republican candidates this fall. You deserve them.

John Hagee: God’s Messenger

Rev. John Hagee, who heads Christians United For Israel, this week called for Pres. Bush not to restrain Israel in any way, shape, or form from its pursuit of Hamas and Hezbollah. Yes, this man of God, this follower of the Jesus Christ-you might have heard of Him, he practiced his preaching of loving your neighbor and turning the other cheek-has basically gone on record as saying that the we should stand by and allow Israel to kills as many civilians and as many children as it can in pursuit of potential members of Hamas and Hezbollah who might possibly be somewhere in the vicinity. More than that, he also claims that the Bible is his source for why Pres. Bush should continue standing by with his finger up his butt while Israel continues its assault not on terrorist, but on women and children and Christians unfortunate enough to be living in Lebanon. Hagee is fond of claiming there is a Biblical imperative for Christians to support Israel. There’s only one problem. Nowhere in the Bible does there exist any verse that actually makes this exhortation. And even if there were, how do we know that what the government of Israel is currently doing is in line with God’s will? Let’s face facts, the people of Israel don’t exactly have a flawless history of obedience to God’s will: eating forbidden fruit, worshipping golden calves, looking back at God’s wrath, the list goes on. Might it not possibly be the case that Israel’s current actions are at odds with God’s will? So therefore if we support them unconditionally, we are also going against God’s will? Manna for thought.

The Idiocy of Ann Coulter, Part I

Ann Coulter’s latest cry for help is asserting that Bill Clinton is gay. She bases this on her belief that rampant heterosexual promiscuity is a sign of latent homosexuality. So let me get this straight (pardon the pun): Ann Coulter has gone from bashing Bill Clinton for not being able to control his heterosexual urges to the point where he (she claims) molested and raped women, to Bill Clinton’s inability to control his heterosexual urges means that he’s gay. Hmm. With each day Ann Coulter is becoming the number one argument in favor of a unique brand of euthanasia: killing someone else to put them out of our misery. By the way, did you know if you rearrange the letters “Ann Coulter” you come up with Unclean Rot and Rectal Noun.

Who Says Conservatives Don’t Have a Sense of Humor?

Rep. Robert Wexler appeared on The Colbert Report and in response to Stephen Colbert’s suggestion that since he is running for re-election unopposed why not play a little game. Robert Wexler was asked to complete, on-air, the sentence “I enjoy cocaine becauseâÂ?¦” Now here’s the deal, Robert Wexler knew that Stephen Colbert was joking with him, he was in on the joke, it was an obvious gag. He went ahead and completed the sentence. The result? The national news media as well as Wexler’s hometown paper clobbering him for being drawn into a trap to make him look foolish. Guys, the only people looking foolish are those who don’t appreciate a Republican Congressman with the smarts to not take Colbert seriously. Where was the outrage when that idiot Congressman who thinks the Ten Commandments should be displayed inside a courthouse more than it should be displayed inside a church could himself name only three of those commandments. Once again the conservative media gets it wrong.

Still Not Even Close to Encyclopedia Brittanica

Wikipedia hit the millionth-article this week, an entry on the 1029th busiest railway station in the UK, at Jordanhill. The original entry was exactly one line. Over the course of the next 24 hours the entry was edited over 400 times. Wikipedia entries can be edited by literally anyone, whether they have any actual knowledge or not. And in some cases-most notably by member of the US House of Representatives-entries have been edited by interested parties in order to make them look a little better than they are rather than just to correct inaccuracies. Wikipedia is one of the most popular sites on the internet for research. That would explain a lot.

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