Weird Laws: Student Athletes & Mischief

So we all know cigarettes are bad for us. We all know cocaine is an addictive drug and we all know there will never be an end to the weird laws that attack us every day. However, the thing about the weird laws that I don’t get, especially when the laws are supposed to be there to help us, is how with the same situation you can have different results in different places.

Here’s where I am going with this. I just moved from Washington, DC to South Carolina. The interesting thing about this is that both places are prime locations for weird laws. DC is the crown jewel weird laws. Then in South Carolina, well, let’s just say there is not shortage of weird laws in the state. So given where I have been and where I am, I was pleasantly surprised when I learned how two different stories played out in two very different fashions.

Both stories involve student athletes. Both stories involve varying degrees of student “mischievous” and both involve diverging actions on the part of school administrators. Both also involve weird laws, or at least the application of logical laws in a very weird fashion.

The first set of students decided it would be neat to steal a deer decoy – you know the kind of decoy hunters use to lure the deer out into the open so they will have an easier shot. So, the students, student athletes actually, first steal the decoy then decide to park the decoy on an isolated road. Well what happened wasn’t too pretty. A car containing two other students happened upon the deer and swerved to miss it. The teens in the car were severely injured with one even losing a leg. The two athletes who orchestrated the little “prank” plead no contest to a variety of criminal charges. The judge, apparently a local football fan, sentenced them to a period of time in a juvenile facility, to be served after they completed the school’s football season. Fortunately the school board had an opportunity to impose their own punishment on the juvenile delinquents.

However, it seems that football was higher on the school board’s agenda as they agreed with the judge and allowed the students to complete the season despite their little prank. They even got to stay in school. With a school board like this, I can only say that I hope the students are at least learning how to read in school because they certainly aren’t learning anything that would pass as responsibility or personal values. Hopefully the school board will make some accommodations for the two students that were injured by the athletes.

So, moving along with another situation of weird laws, we have yet another set of students with more time on their hands than sense.

This set of students decided it would be fun to go out and rob a few stores. Well, after they got the idea in their heads, nothing could stop them, nothing that is except surveillance cameras. A group of 14 students, half of them on the school football team were caught and charged for the robberies. Then a funny thing happened. The coach of the football team suspended all of the players. This made a lot of folks mad – just kids being kids they said. No need to let a little mistake ruin their lives. So the case went to the local school board. Surprisingly enough, not only did the school board decide that the students didn’t need to complete the football season, the school board felt the students didn’t even need to complete the school year. All of the students, athletes included, were expelled for the remainder of the year. The board even went a step further and noted the student’s records to show that they couldn’t attend any school this year. At least there is some degree of hope that the students at this school will learn a bit about personal values and responsibility.

This brings to mind another story of athletes and trouble with the law that I thought I might mention. This story comes to us from Washington, DC, yes the seat of all things great about weird laws. A few months ago, a former University of Maryland basketball player was arrested in DC near the United States Capital. Seems that there had been a report of shots fired and when shots are fired around the Capital building, the police respond in a hurry. In normal fashion, the police arrived at the scene and found a dark SUV nearby. Inside the police found the former basketball player, a variety of weapons and several spent shell casings. The player was arrested and jailed. Then, in a nod to weird laws in action, the prosecutor quickly reached a deal with the player’s attorney. The deal had the player pleading guilty to a reduced charge with an extended period of probation. The main reason this deal was struck was to allow the player to travel to Europe where he was to begin his professional basketball career. A hearing was quickly arranged as a judge had to approve the deal. All parties went to the hearing to have the sweet deal approved. Instead of approval, the judge delivered a harsh lecture on personal responsibility and imposed a jail sentence to begin immediately – even though it meant the player would miss the start of the basketball season. All I can say is good for that judge.

So, I want to revisit the first two stories I mentioned and give a bit more detail. These two events occurred in Mount Pleasant, South Carolina and Kenton, Ohio. Which was where? Well, with the reputation for the Good Ole Boy, you would likely guess that the South Carolina players got to finish their football season. You would be wrong. Apparently in South Carolina if you break the rules, you pay the price – even if you are on the football team. Kudos goes to the SC school administrators who place personal responsibility above athletic performance. These students will be the better for it.

So what I draw from this is that if you want to commit a crime and have a judge turn a blind eye to your actions, head to Kenton, Ohio. It seems that they take their weird laws quite seriously there. Oh, and try to make sure that Gary F. McKinley is your judge.

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