What Boy George and I Have in Common: Forcing Drug Users to Pick Up Trash is Not Cool

For a guy who called the cops on himself, Boy George got off pretty easy, his stupidity could have and should have warranted a harsher penalty, namely jail time, but why would we want to deprive the lame ass, rave sect of London and New York their semi-ironic DJ of choice? With that said and brainless self-incrimination aside, making someone pick up trash over what ostensibly boils down to a drug rap is classless and wrong.

America treats their drug users like terrorists and it’s no big secret that a large, shifting mass holds the mindset that the two are one and the same. As a former drug user and current drug enthusiast I can assure you that this could not be further from the truth. Most recreational drug users are less harmless than even the feeblest of town drunks. And if you believe in the concept that punishment should indeed fit the crime than you need to get on the Boy George bandwagon as soon as possible (NOTE: this doesn’t mean you have to enjoy Culture Club songs like “I’ll Tumble 4 Ya”, though that doesn’t hurt). Let me get you caught up on the Boy George story, fore it is imperative that you know this stuff.

Boy George called in a fake report to the NYPD at 3 AM one Friday morning, saying that his apartment had been burglarized. There’s no saying how whacked out on drugs Mr. George was, but he was at least too high to move his large, open bag of cocaine when cops arrived to find that the burglary of Boy George’s sanity was the only crime being committed in that Little Italy flat. Needless to say, the blue boys from the city don’t like fags who make crank 911 callsâÂ?¦and they really fucking hate sissy, pop star fags who make fake reports and then have the audacity to leave their drugs in plain view.

This was beyond a doltish move and there’s no way I can back it up, so I’m not gonna even try, let’s just fast forward to the trial and punishment.

The drug charge was actually dropped in favor of sticking Boy George with “falsely reporting a break-in” because if there’s anything The Man likes less than druggies it’s people who waste his fucking time. Boy George was fined and sentenced to community service; specifically he was assigned to pick up trash on the hot, August streets of New York’s Chinatown. And now I have something in common with Boy George, not counting our already shared appreciation for chameleon nomenclature (See “Karma Chameleon”).

I too was faced with trash collecting duty in the wake of a drug rap, and frankly I feel Boy George’s pain. Why does our government feel that picking up garbage is a proper punishment for using drugs? Why isn’t street sweeping used to punish the people who create it: litterbugs, the real American eco-terrorists. Morally speaking from my own personal experience, I feel that all drugs that don’t involve needles and haven’t been created by our government as a method of control (See Ronald Reagan and crack) should be legal anyway. Subsequently, I also feel that authorities should brush off any hare-brained antics acted out on said legal drugs with a friendly chuckle and the ole shake of the head. This is how I really, really feel.

One more thing. This is a Boy George quote from The London Evening Standard, 20 February 2006; it’s completely unrelated. It just makes me think that Boy George is cool: “Gay unions, what is that about? I haven’t been invited to any ceremonies, and I wouldn’t go anyway. The idea that gay people have to mimic what obviously doesn’t work for straight people any more … I think is a bit tragic. I am looking forward to gay divorces.”

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