Most of us at some time or another, for some of us, most of the time, feel that we are the only ones entitled to an opinion or that our opinion is the only right one. We feel that the other person should feel what we feel, understand what we feel and agree with how we feel. We want others to show us consideration, but we sometimes forget that we need to show others that same consideration.
Consideration and respect works both ways, it’s like the Bible says: “Do onto others as you would have them do onto you” I’m afraid these days, not too many people think that applies to them.
We always want to change that other person to accommodate us, but we don’t think that we should change to accommodate them in return.
When a person thinks about changing another person, they should first consider, does change make them a better person, a healthier person, a stronger person or just simply changes them for the sake of change.
We should remember, no one is perfect, every one of us has a habit or a quirk that others may not like or may find annoying or troublesome, yes every one of us does.
The point to determine is the difference between a habit and a quirk, and then determine is it a dangerous habit. Smoking and Drinking is a bad and dangerous habit, lying can be harmless sometimes but can turn into a dangerous and nasty habit and yes anyone who is guilty of the above should be encouraged to change it. An annoying quirk or habit may be someone who talks too much, laughs too hard, always butts into your life, has no sense of humor, is not serious enough, likes a messy home or like me just the opposite, a little bit obsessive in having everything in place, neat and tidy. Wanting my place to be always neat and tidy does not necessarily make me a better person than the one who likes it messy and vice versa. An untidy or messy person in their own home is nobody’s business, but when sharing, renting or visiting, one should be considerate of those around them. Of course, breaking the Law, and Company policy like continuously being late for work is wrong and should be addressed.
The problem with society is that we always feel that the other person’s habit or quirk is worse than ours and we try to force our way onto them. Friendships and relationships are broken up because no one wants to compromise or meet the other person half way.
The other person’s sin is always greater than our own, it’s always easier to identify another’s fault or sin than to recognize our own, and it’s always easier to correct or give advice to that person, than to accept it for ourselves.
Why can’t we see the situation from both sides of the fence, why don’t we try seeing the other person’s point of view along with our own, try standing in that person’s shoes for a change and see if things still look the same. Don’t let’s judge others according to our standards, first find out what their standard is. Not everyone sees the same thing in any given situation, not everyone reacts the same way to any situation or event or tragedy. Not every one loves for the same reasons or hates for the same reasons.
They say that ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ what may be annoying to some, is actually endearing to others. Sometimes it’s that very annoying habit or quirk that makes us who we are and in trying to rid us of that particular habit, can in turn change our entire being.
Sometimes it may be necessary to let a person know that they are annoying you, because sometimes that person has no idea that they may be doing so unless you tell them. A healthy relationship does not ignore each others faults and pretend that they don’t exist, but that’s where diplomacy, sensitivity and understanding comes in, along with compromise and meeting each other half way.
If you’re in a relationship and thinking about living together or getting married and your partner has a bad habit or annoying quirk, don’t assume that it will change or stop overnight. Talk to each other; ensure that it’s something you can live with. Have you ever heard the term, “Come see me, come live with me.” It’s different when you have to deal with it 24/7. They say that there is a thin line between love and hate and it’s amazing how easy it is for that line to snap.
Change is always good, providing it’s for the better, there are actually persons out there in the world that changes from being a good person to being a bad person, or gives up a silly habit in exchange for a nasty habit. Changing from one extreme to another is not always for the best. It cannot be forced on a person, that person has to want to do it; it has to come from within. Change is gradual; it doesn’t happen all at once.
Know what you want to change about yourself or another, why you want to change it and what you want to change it toÃ¢Â?Â¦Ã¢Â?Â¦Ã¢Â?Â¦Ã¢Â?Â¦Ã¢Â?Â¦