How to Apologize to a Friend you Betrayed

Fights and disagreements are more common among friends than you might think. Since friends usually spend a lot of time together, there is a higher chance of them disagreeing with each other. However, if you are at fault and the friendship is of value to you, you should consider apologizing in the proper way to patch things up.  People don’t understand the power of being up front and saying “sorry”. It breaks barriers and gets the other party to see pass the pain or disappointments.  The key is be sincere, don’t say “sorry” until you mean it and when you mean it, you say it with everything you got.  Betrayal is not an easy pill to swallow and saying “Sorry” makes it down down easy.

Instructions

  • 1

    Don’t rush your apology

    It is very important that you give some time to your friend and yourself to cool down and think rationally about whatever happened. Even if you feel guilty, hold off an apology for some time. While you may be willing to apologize, your friend might not be in the right frame of mind to accept it.

  • 2

    Text first - talk later

    Facing the other person and saying you are sorry is not the easiest thing. Moreover, if you apologize to your friend directly, he/she may not be ready to accept it, and as a result, may react more harshly, worsening the situation. After you have given some time to your friend to contemplate, just leave a text, preferably at night, so that your friend can either read it before sleeping or right after waking up.
    A text message gives you the freedom to express yourself and offer a complete apology without having to worry about the immediate reaction. Moreover, putting your feelings into words can help you convey them better.
    Once you have sent the text, don’t expect an immediate response. Give your friend time to think about it and respond at his/her own pace.

  • 3

    Call your friend

    Call your friend a while after receiving a favorable reply, or after a couple of days of sending the text (if you get no reply). Call during a time you know your friend won’t be occupied or busy and be apologetic in your tone. You can start by asking whether he/she received your text (if you didn’t get a reply) and then come clean about how you want to apologize for whatever you did.
    Get to the point as soon as possible and let your friend know how important his/her friendship is to you. If possible, you can talk about qualities you value or why you need that person to remain your friend.
    Even if your friend does not act graciously and turns you down or is rude to you, be patient and take it all, especially if you were at fault. Reacting is only going to push him/her away further.
    If all goes well, you can invite the friend for lunch or coffee sometime soon and patch up things completely face-to-face.

  • 4

    Go to his/her home

    If your friend did not react positively to your text message or phone call, you should consider visiting his/her home. Again, make sure you go at a time your friend is likely to be home and not busy. If possible take a small gift or something your friend likes to eat. Talk it all out and apologize to your friend and stress on the importance of his/her friendship.

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