Worst Date Ever

Should I write about my worst date? The problem I have even while typing this,-is that it is just too bizarre. Nevertheless, I shall try and tell you about it, though with some awkward feeling of self-pity.

Bud (not his real name) and I had been internet dating at first.That was because he lived in Manila. That was before he made his momentous decision to “see me in person” which was like a one year promise because he said that he had to go to Thailand for some medical check up.

Anyway, I did recieve an email in December of 2000, saying that he was coming during the Christmas season and to ready the house.Thus, I properly did the decent thing and waited for him at Chicago’s O’ Hare airport until I did see an extremely tall, dark and handsome guy who was about 45 but looked 30, with a great flashy smile enough for any toothpaste ad company to consider! Initially, he was breathtaking. His first greeting was “I already miss you and I’m not leaving yet!”. I dismissed that as something that could be a cultural difference and replied, “You look good and welcome to the USA!”. The drive back to my small town in Daggett was equally all lright except that there seemed something wrong with his voice. Driving back to home with him, I recall, our converstaion was him asking me “Do you like Covergirl?”.He went on about placenta cream for my face , “so it wouldn’t dry up when it’s winter like this”. Again I thought, maybe Asian guys are vain – another cultural difference. It was a six hour drive from the airport to my town and all he blabbered about was “where was the nearest spa.. because it’s too cold” and “I hope you live near a sauna”.

Mercifully, we reached home and I told him that he could stay in one room if he wanted to. By that time, I felt that something was wrong except that I couldn’t exactly place what it was. I told myself that I was an idiot that here was a great looking single guy fit to be my mate and I was again sabotaging my chance to be happy. I psyched myself to think that he was the greatest guy in the world, after all, who would fly half the world just to see me? I chided myself that I should not be paramoid just because all my relationships were a failure.

We relaxed on the sofa and he had his arm around me as we watched a couple of shows on tv. We were both tired from the trip and he placed a little kiss on my forehead and went to his room that I had offered him. We did have a great first day because he was sleeping for the next twelve hours but of course, that was because of the jet-lag. When he woke up, he smiled again and said. “Let’s eat dinner somewhere, where there is privacy”. I wondered how private we could get because it was only me and him in the house and I felt slightd that he hadn’t yet kissed me. Again, I thought, maybe it’s another cultural difference because he looked so good and his skin seemed to glow as I stared at him. He was awesome looking ! He was also shivering despite the heater turned on high so I figured that the best thing we could do is stay inside the house instead of going out.

He said, “But I have something to tell you.Something very important that it has to be elsewhere”. Thus, I thought, this was definitely a great guy who probably would want to propose to me in some romantic setting. Thus, I drove 25 miles to a restaurant called Landing in Menominee where I thought that the ambience was fit for sweet memory recall. We even ordered a romantic dish of Oysters and Asparagus. We had a nice private table, the lights were dim and there were scented candles and romantic musici playing. “This is perfect”, I told myself.

“I have to tell you something. would you love me as I am? ” he asked and of course I replied yes, wanting to say hurry up and tell me you want to marry me now, or tomorrow or even sooner.

“That trip in Thailand, I have to telll you…” I thought I don’t give a damn about Thailand, I give a damn that you propose to me now! But I decided to be polite and listen anyhow.

“Thailand is where you get the cheapest plastic surgeons and there are good doctors…., “he went on and on. I was thinking that perhaps he wanted to suggest that I have a facelift? What was it, did my boobs sag? Did he think I was actually ugly?

” I was , please understand, I was a girl…….” and when that HIT me I laughed!

There was no marriage. I was heartbroken but I did find a good friend. Yet, that was my worst and most bizarre date! And even as I write about it I am still engulfed with self-pity!

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