Twenty One Things You Didn’t Know About Women
1. We don’t need to be told that we’re beautiful or sexy every five minutes. It sounds like a lie after the third time. Once a day is fine.
2. Your teeth, hair, and nails need to be clean if we want to kiss you, suck your fingers, or run our fingers through or over your hair!
3. We could care less what your status is. When you’re with us we need your full attention. Cut the damn cell phone off!
4. We’re not impressed by your use of slang. Speak proper English, please!
5. We want to be taken care of, but we also want to be seen as equals. I can take out the garbage and mow the lawn and you can mop the floor and comb my daughter’s hair. It’s about teamwork!
6. We hate that you can’t hold a fork correctly.
7. Sagging pants are only attractive to young naive women.
8. Women today are tough because we have to be. Many of us are raising kids by ourselves and working full time. Don’t be scared. We’re doing what the men won’t do and we actually like it!
9. When you disappear without a trace we’re aware that you’re cowards, but it still hurts. Have the balls to exit like a man!
10. If you’re married or have a girlfriend we’re not interested in being your side trick.
11. We think video games are stupid and so are you for playing them nonstop.
12. Even if you like the extra junk in our trunk we may not and will work out or eat light to get the body WE want. It doesn’t matter what YOU think.
13. We don’t really care how much money you make. Sure, it’s cool if you have a lot of money in the bank, but it’s cooler when we have our own.
14. We like to have time away from you.
15. We’re turned on by the fact that you have regular dental and medical check ups.
16. We’re freakier with a lil’ liquor in us!
17. We check out your feet too.
18. Being homophobic or showing prejudice of any kind is a turnoff and not funny at all. In fact jokes about “faggots” make us wonder if you’re on the down low.
19. Wearing pink does not turn us on.
20. We’re attracted to nerds not thugs.
21. “Hey baby, wasup?” is not a way to get our attention.