A Spectacular Super Bowl XL

Super Bowl XL was spectacular, generall speaking. It wasn’t the spectacular though like, “wow, that was really something. It was really spectacular.” It was more of the “wow, that was a serious spectacle. They put a lot of time and energy into it. Since it was a spectacle it must have been spectacular.”

My favorite part about the program: Jessica Simpson in the Pizza Hut commercial early on to liven things up. I also enjoyed the average commercials from Gillete Fusion, Ford Mustang, and Sprint’s was neat and timely. It made the spectacle ordinary, like the game really was.

What a tough game. Records were set: longest run from scrimmage courtesy of one Mr. Willie Parker, and the first touchdown pass from a wide receiver courtesy of Mr. Antwaan Randle El. Ultimately though however I think the game was really about Bill Cowher and his savvy young quarterback, the youngest to win the big game; Jerome Bettis!

Burger King’s commercial with Brooke Burke and the human garnishes was sweet, but not like the Kenny from South Park sweet. It wasn’t the sweet where it was like “cool.” It was the sweet that you say when you’re trying to be nice, like, “oh, that was sweet.” It made the Super Bowl spectacular.

I really liked the introduction of the 40 Super Bowl MVP’s. At first I thought it was a stupid idea, but then realized that they were able to get everybody for the phot op, classic memorabilia, one more thing that people can frame on their wall after paying big bucks for, like William Shatner’s kidney stone. It was classic capitalism. Afterall, nobody in the stands can actually see the players with all the floating cameras and mis-en-scene dÃ?©cor. I’ll bet it was the most boring time in the history of Super Bowl history for those fans that paid grands to see the game in person. Nonetheless, it was spectacular. All 40 Super Bowl MVP’s, wow!

What I didn’t like about the Super Bowl MVP part of the program was that it took away from the player introductions. Usually in Super Bowls, each player is introduced from the starting lineups of both squads individually. Who can forget Ray Lewis 6 years ago setting the Super Bowl grass on fire with his hooka dance? It was one of the things that made this year’s Super Bowl less spectacular, but the replacement compensated for its absence somewhat.

Mick Jagger rules. The guy was off the chain! Off the hook was he. I don’t know what to say about that dude. He jams. I don’t know if I enjoyed it, but it was definitely spectacular. He didn’t even break a sweat. What a performer!

Speaking of performers, how about Ben Roethelisberger? What a cool cucumber this young QB is. I’m happy for him. The guy’s a professional, a little bit cocky, but I think you need that in the NFL; second quarterback taken in the ’04 draft.

Bill Cowher has got to love this guy, Ben Roethelisberger. Bill Cowher, what else can you say? Longest tenured head coach, the Cowher scowl! He had done basically everything in the game except win the big one. Now, he’s one of the greatest coaches of all time instead of just being a great coach. He is a great coach. Now, with his tenure and the Super Bowl ring there’s no one else to compare him to except maybe Don Shula. Fourteen years at the helm, 12 playoff victories, 141 wins total. I love this guy. If there should be a picture next to the definition of football coach in the dictionary, it would be this guy’s ugly mug. Congratulations!

Congratulations to Jerome Bettis, although I don’t think he is going to retire even though it would be the professional thing to do. Go out a winner man. Although, they could win it next year. Maybe this is the start of something really special that he wants to be apart of. He’s aleady one of the best that ever played.

Dr. Seuss, at the start of the game with Harrison Ford and his earring. What can I say, the guy is a good actor, he pulled it off, and pulling it off is not a pun. It’s not meant to derail. I mean it like I was really fooled. I thought he was a wizard, the Dr. ! Seuss!

The Federal Express commercial with the cavemen and the prehistoric dinosaurs was okay, and I don’t mean the okay like, “it was okay, I could see myself watching that again.” I mean the okay like, “okay, what in God’s name was that? They aired it. Holy cow.” Who got away with writing that brilliant display of commercialness?

The Pepsi ad with Puff Daddy! I’m sorry but it was old. That whole dance video, hoochies, playaz waving the fingers, glitter, bright lights, and base is old. It’s old school, but it still works on the taste of a new generation.

What the hell happened at the end of the game? It seemed like Seattle clock management was giddy, as in too strong of a desire to score, uncomfortable, eager, and not patient. Michaels and Madden were right. They should have kicked the field goal and attempted the on-side kick. It would have been the climactically proper thing to do. Everything on the line in the onside kick, and the way momentum was swinging I think they may have gotten it. Instead, the climax was just a pretentious rush to get special teams personnel onto the field. Literally, that’s fine. Figuratively, it turned the game into one that never really went off like it should have. Tension was building in this game. There was so much momentum going back and forth. It just seemed like the momentum was left empty because of poor time management, but that’s football. Heck, it’s not sex.

The great American event is a Super Bowl, XL. Spectacular, absolutely spectacular. The Star Spangled Banner from Aretha Franklin and the Neville Brother was great, but not like, “great, wow, I was really impressed.” It was more of the long drawn out great, the one that’s said in Bud Lite froggy tone. “Graaate.” What was truly great though and probably in my book the most symbolic moment of American freedom was the first Michelob commercial when the dude and his chic were viciously flattening each other with spearing tackles. It was a sign from Michelob. They know the viewing public. That commercial was dead on the target market, and it went over the edge. The game however did not.

It was spectacular, but ordinary at the same time; special. It was special for Bill Cowher. It was special for Ben Roethelisberger, and it was special for Jerome Bettis. Professionally, they have achieved some pretty monumental milestones, and this one leaves the plot empty just like the climax to this year’s Super Bowl. More holes need to be filled. Does this victory make Bill Cowher one of the greatest coaches of all time? Does this victory make Ben Roethelisberger make him the new Tom Brady, set up the start of a fierce rivalry that could burn for the next decade? And finally, is this a career for Jerome Bettis? Is the bus done? Has his successful journey back to the homeland reminded everybody of what greatness truly could be?

No way, the bus will ride on. This is now 13 years in the league as the game’s most physical specimen. It had to be lucky.

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