Avoid the Landfill: Build a Bonfire with Household Items and Trash

Have you ever wondered what happens to your household trash after you drop it off at the county dump or leave it on your curb for the garbage collector to come pick it up? The answer is: nothing. Not for many years will it begin the natural process of decomposition and complete the circle of life. The rate at which the nation’s landfills are filling up is astonishing and in years to come we may be paying a premium to unload our waste. Studies have shown that a single Oscar Mayer hot dog may take up to 50 years to decompose after being packed into the rest of the trash in one of these landfills. That’s half a century for a biodegradable product that could otherwise be returned to the earth in a matter of minutes. Our landfills are filling rapidly and I propose a solution: Burn, baby, burn.

I’m not going to lie and say the reason my roommate and I started burning a lot of our household trash was to save the environment. Basically, we don’t have garbage pickup, we were too broke to get a county sticker to take the stuff to the dump, and it was a Saturday night and we wanted to build a bonfire. We only had a couple pieces of firewood but several garbage bags full of beer cans, soda cans, newspapers and food trash.

How We Started

We dug a firepit in our backyard, about four feet by four feet, and surrounded it with cinder blocks. After we were done with that, the thinking ended. We just started throwing trash in there, without sorting through it, and we ended up with a big, smoky, ashy mess. The next day we cleaned out the firepit and learned our first lesson: aluminum cans don’t burn. This is what started us recycling our aluminum, and in fact, we’ve made about $30 from it. We also realized that burning glass is a bad idea unless the container has an opening, because we had a couple close calls from exploding or near-exploding bottles. We also had a near-death experience with an aerosol can – Barbasol can be lethal, kids.

The Naughty List

Here’s a short list of items from the trash that are very poor (and often dangerous) bonfire ingredients:

– – pressure-treated wood (the chemicals give off noxious fumes)
– – plastic (it just melts, and it’s a pollutant. Our experience with plastic stuff that was a waste of time includes: trash bags, computer printers, shampoo bottles, hair clips, beach balls and DVD cases. The list goes on, but you get the idea.)
– – aerosol cans
– – aluminum/steel cans, tin foil
– – any container that is sealed (without an opening, anything can explode)
– – glossy magazines (they just smolder)
– – any container that holds or once held cleaning supplies, perfume, cosmetics, or other chemicals
– – styrofoam (it melts cool, but it stinks)
– – heavy blankets/coats (they just smolder and smoke and put out any flame you’ve got going)
– – rubber

Over the next couple of months, we burned our trash about once a week and realized that there are several things that burn great. We’ve had a pyrotechnic-esque blast with various cardboard beer and soda cases. The cardboard case for Keystone Light beer, for some reason, gives off great coloring and burns bright. Milwaukee’s Best Light works well, as does Dr. Pepper. Newspaper is an old favorite and it’s great fodder because everyone always seems to have piles of old newspapers lying around the house. A special favorite of ours (which we are ashamed to admit because it shows our basic attitude toward responsibility and adulthood) is collection notices. Along the same line, we get a special thrill out of burning rejection letters from credit card companies and past-due bills. On a more serious note, a bonfire is a great place to destroy personal documents if you don’t have a paper shredder.

What We’ve Learned

Bonfires are also a great way to get rid of any old thing you just don’t want anymore. Clothes that don’t fit (or are hideously out of date – come on, do you really need that drawer full of parachute pants and acid-washed jeans?), the Halloween costume you’ve worn six years in a row (“Oh look! He’s Darth Maul again!”), old love letters (or hate letters) from exes, and furniture – make sure you smash it up good so that it makes decent kindling and doesn’t burn all night.

I’ve mentioned several specific items in here to get you started, but most of the fun is experimenting for yourself. The only real rule is to make sure that you’re being careful: the firepit should be in an open area, there should be a hose nearby in case anything gets out of control, keep small children away from the fire and teach older children fire safety if they’re going to be running around anywhere nearby, never start a bonfire on a very windy day, and always be sure to see what the local law is for open flames.

The Perfect Fire

Alright, so you want to know what the expert uses? Here’s how I build my own personal bonfire:

Kindling
I start with whatever “kindling” might be lying around. Old newspapers, bills, junk mail, cardboard boxes (stacked so that oxygen flows freely), and bunches of paper towels I used to clean up some disgusting mess in the kitchen.

Firewood
On top of that, any substantial “firewood” materials I have on hand: broken-down furniture, large cardboard items (you can get nice thick ones from grocery stores and hospitals), logs stolen from neighbors, chopped-up pallets (free outside of many businesses like home improvement stores and grocery stores), and leftover scraps from that home improvement project you either never got around to finishing or screwed up beyond recognition.

Fuel
Finally, keep a pile of “fuel” on hand. This is stuff you toss on there after the fire starts going good to keep it burning bright and hot enough to completely burn up all the crap you threw in there. Good fuel items include clothing, beer cases that burn with cool colors, more paper, grease rags from the garage, and whatever you have that you’re not sure will burn well – this is where you get creative and the fun starts. You don’t want to put these “mystery” items on first because if they burn poorly you can’t exactly take them out and start over. Keep this stuff to the side for after you’ve gotten a good fire going and have a couple beers in you.

So go out and be creative! Clean out your attic, your basement, your closets and your car. Get some friends to come over and bring their junk and their garbage (make them sort through it first though), have a few beers and make a night of it. Who needs concerts or bars or movies when you have a stereo, a few friends, a few drinks and a bonfire right in your own backyard?

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