CANCELLED: TV Shows that Should Be Gone

We all talk about the good old days. Well, I know we won’t be referring to today’s TV shows as anything good. TV has been decaying in quality and originality. Here are some notorious contributors to the TV Dark Age:

The Simpsons: This show has been running way too long. The writing is stale, jokes unfunny, and the actors are overpaid. This show should have finished in the late ’90s, when it still had humor and charm in it.

Mind of Mencia: Damn, man! This Mencia guy is the funniest son of a bitch since Chris Rock! Too bad Chris Rock wasn’t funny, just funny-looking. Mencia is a chubby, angry, and disturbed brown guy who replaced a skinny, dopey, and whacked-out black guy. Dave Chappelle’s show was replaced for this?

Saturday Night Live: This show should have died fifteen seasons ago. With the exception of Will Ferrell, SNL hasn’t offered a mildly funny personality in the past decade. Mad TV spanks this NBC lame fest any night.

The Apprentice: Okay, Donald. Your ratings were lower than the ocean floor in the Atlantic. Have you gotten the hint yet?

American Dad!: It’s enough that Family Guy is only half as funny as it was when it left the air the second time years back, but American Dad! is pitiful to watch. Give some credit to Fox for trying to keep cartoons on Sunday primetime. American Dad! should be cancelled immediately, followed by the Family Guy the year after.

Real Time with Bill Maher: Maher thinks way too highly of himself. The guy is the only man I have seen on TV to still wear a mullet. A man with such outdated hair is not one to worship. I’d rather see Michael Moore and Whoopi Goldberg lather each other up in mayonnaise. Whose idea was it to give a failed comedian a show on politics? Thanks ABC.

Fox Dramas:Bones? House? Standoff? Are the names to Fox’s dramas getting dumber? I don’t know if I can take another season of bad Fox television.

MTV Reality Shows: Wasn’t there a time when MTV was about music? Nowadays, 90% of its programming consists of bad dating shows involving horny sluts, preppy ditzes, or flaming gay guys that would make John Waters blush. And Laguna Beach? Ugh. Anyone who watches more than two hours of MTV a week should be deemed clinically retarded.

VH1: I don’t know what I’ll do if I see another show about has-been celebs or the ’70s. VH1 was a step below MTV when MTV was in its prime; VH1 is still a step below MTV when that channel is at its low. One word: CANCEL!!

MSNBC: How many people watch it? Two? Five at the most? I think Bill O’Reilly could buy the network at this point. Maybe MSNBC’s ratings would pickup if it imported those Russian news babes who strip down during broadcasts.

Blue Collar TV: The Blue Collar comedy tours were classic gems of Southern humor. The jokes were brilliant and the films were wonderfully done. Sadly, one could predict that quality wouldn’t make it to TV. Besides having to reuse old jokes from the tour specials and unfunny (and unoriginal) writing, Blue Collar TV just doesn’t offer anything to standout.

HBO: Emmy-winning shows my ass. Deadwood uses the word “cocksucker” in every sentence – not a sign of great writing. Carnivale is slower than the average student in the LA Unified School System. And Sex and the City wasn’t hot: a show about old women and sex is just not appealing to normal people. Know what it is? Golden Girls minus twenty years.

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