Cell Phones


Okay, I am the only living person left on Earth who does not own a cell phone. I’ve always been able to get by using my home phone or a pay phone. I’ve done it for years and it hasn’t failed me yet. I don’t know how so many people got so important so quickly that they have to be available 24/7.

The most used excuse for having a cell phone is that it is there in case of an emergency. Probably to be used when someone using a cell phone drives through a traffic light and causes all sorts of accidents. We seemed to manage reporting accidents before these things showed up, so why do we need them so desperately now?

And what sort of emergency would a 10 year hold have, other than wetting his pants, that he has to get hold of Mom RIGHT NOW!!!!?

Where I work, we have a communal john. Ten stalls on one side, 10 urinals on the other. I am always amazed when, after I’ve settled in to sneak a smoke and read the paper, the guy in the next stall has to make a call. Is it so important that it won’t wait until he is finished? Does he hold the secret to peace in the mid-East and George W. has to talk to him right then? Has his cure for the common cold finally received recognition and the Nobel Prize committee can’t wait to give him the good news? What makes him so special?

I worked for a place once where my boss wanted me to get a cell phone. I was on the road a lot and somehow he thought he had the right to invade my peace and quiet by keeping in touch with me on a constant basis. I told him that I phoned back to the office at least 4 times a day and answered all important messages immediately. Basically, I told him to keep the cell and let me enjoy the quiet time I had driving from one appointment to the next. I lasted 6 months.

I refuse to become a slave to the cell phone just so someone with nothing better to do can bother me when I don’t want to be bothered. It happens enough with telemarketers on my home phone. I may be a lot of things, but masochistic is not one of them.

If I found a job that really required a cell phone I might get one. I haven’t yet and doubt very much that I ever will. If other people got a grip on themselves, they might just realize that they too, are not that important.

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