David Lee Roth Makes Another Plea to Rejoin Van Halen

Recently, David Lee Roth went public with the news that a reunion with his band mates (Van Halen) is in the imminent future. A quote from Diamond David Lee Roth, “I see it absolutely as an inevitability. To me, it’s not rocket surgery. It’s very simple to put together. And as far as hurt feelings and water under the dam, like What’shername says to What’shername at the end of the movie Chicago – so what? It’s showbiz! So, I definitely see it happening.”

David Lee Roth is at a crossroads. His transformation from aging rock star to morning DJ lasted only four months, when he was fired from the nation’s premier morning slot; the CBS Radio spot previously owned by Howard Stern. The task of a replacing a legend like Howard Stern was an impossible one, but with that said; David Lee Roth was an absolutely horrible DJ.

His show was not listenable. And, believe me, I tried. I sat in traffic once for over an hour with my ears glued to David Lee Roth’s show and the experience was numbing. When I got to where I was going, I felt like I had just spent the last sixty minutes being pounded in the head with a raw steak by a two ton gorilla. That’s what listening to David Lee Roth feels like.

But David Lee Roth as a rock front man? That’s another story. David Lee Roth is one of the rare rock personalities; one that completely transcends time and space. All you need to do is flip n VH1 Classic and you can see how great Roth era Van Halen was. So where did it all go wrong?

The story of David Lee Roth and Van Halen (their parting that is) is a sorted one. There were plenty of finger-pointing and solo albums about gigolos and I don’t really feel like going into all that. Both Van Halen and David Lee Roth were better off when they were together, no one will deny this; and they’ve attempted comebacks before. Most famously in 1996, when Roth’s ego took over on stage at MTV’s Video Music Awards; pissing off leader Eddie Van Halen and squashing the reunion before it ever really happened.

But this does bring up a good point, though I don’t see it happening at all; what would a 2006 version of a Roth-Van Halen look (and sound) like. Eddie can’t hardly walk (hip surgeries), Roth is balding and bassist Michael Anthony can still only play one note at a time (Alex Van Halen, the drummer, was always the heart of the band in my opinion; he’s very underrated). I don’t what this hypothetical Van Halen would look like (although I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be pretty), but I do know what they would sound like. It would probably be a cross between the band Coverdale-Page (the failed early 90’s pairing of Whitesnake’s David Coverdale and Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin) and Weezer. That’s just a guess though.

So where does David Lee Roth go from here (considering that this plea is as hollow and as pointless as it sounds). Right before he signed on to the CBS Radio program, Roth was actually working as an EMT. I know that sounds unbelievable, but he really was an EMT. It’s a good thing he was too, because if hadn’t been he would have really struggled for cool things to say on his radio show.

I think they should make another male version of The View (The first attempt was called The Other Half and it featured Danny Bonaduce, Mario Lopez and Dick Clark). This 2006 installment should feature Roth, Wayne Brady, Craig Kilborn and Tony Danza. It would be great.

In reality, I don’t know what’s going to happen to David Lee Roth. I just know that the world needs him around in some capacity. He’s like a national treasure or something. People tend to forget how great the old Van Halen was, but they’ve got like an hour’s worth of classic radio gold. And I should know; classic rock is the only music that’s played on the radio anymore in New York.

Eddie Van Halen, please let David Lee Roth back in the band; just for one album. Just for me.

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