Doggie Nuptuails

DOGGIE NUPTIALS

I just came across an article in the paper that had me shaking my head. Some nitwit who operates a dog daycare and grooming facility says the idea of doggie nuptials started as a joke but soon escalated until a country ceremony began to take shape. The wedding party and about 50 guests will all be canine, a hired (human) actress is to appear as justice of the peace, and a reception will offer doggie delicacies. How weird is this?

Sure, plenty of people treat their dogs, and cats for that matter, as part of the family. There is nothing wrong with this. But when the animal is treated better than real members of the family, you have a problem.

PETA and most vegans I know try to attribute human attitudes and emotions to animals. I get a kick out of reading letters from PETA supporters that start out with, “I know I speak for the animals when…..”. Who died and made them the omnipotent speaker for animals? Maybe the animal wants to say, “Hey, I have a good thing going here. I do a few tricks and in return get food and shelter. Don’t mess this up for me.” The vegans on the other hand start with, “If I could speak for the animals ……..” If you could speak for the animals, you’d be the animal instead of a human being. I’ll admit that a dog’s bark or a cat’s meow may be their way of trying to communicate with us. We just don’t understand what they’re saying. And if you could speak for the animals, you’d either be speaking in their way or you’d be the greatest freak since Barnum’s reptile boy.
This nimrod thinks “it’s cute, it’s sweet, it’s a great idea,” adding the dogs will enjoy a honeymoon at the cottage, then have a “separate-house marriage,” seeing each other on holidays and special events. Sounds like a real marriage to me. Wed your wife, then the two of you move into separate homes. Geesh.

Ms Starved For Affection says she sees no harm in viewing animals like human beings. “He’s my little man,” she says of Reuben, her Yorkshire terrier. Reuben is apparently marrying Fifi, who belongs to a client of this wingnut. The happy pair has been engaged since Christmas, when Reuben gave Fifi a pink bathrobe and rhinestone engagement bone. “She took to him and he took to her,” says Ms Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places. “They’re just like an old married couple, they have disputes and then they snuggle.”

This is really sick. First we had to accept gay marriages, even though most of Canada didn’t want to, and now we have doggie weddings.

To quote Scrooge from ‘A Christmas Carol’, I shall retire to Bedlam.

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