Gas Price Conspiracy Revealed!

The day after the election last November, I told all the students I taught in high school that in a year they would be paying $3.00 a gallon for gas. Those who were happy Bush had won snorted out a Bush-like smirk at my ignorance. All those who were unhappy to see Bush sneak in for a second term expressed outrage that I might possibly be right. Sad to say my prediction at this point looks like it may possibly have been lowballed.

There are many theories around for why gasoline prices have risen steadily since Bush first took office, and especially why prices have spiked significantly since he announced the end of hostilities in Iraq. (You do remember that hostilities ended in Iraq some time ago, don’t you?) It does seem rather remarkable that gasoline prices have gone UP since we unofficially made Iraq our 51st state. After all, this was supposed to be all about oil, wasn’t it?

There is a definitely a war specifically over taking place, but it’s not located entirely within the Middle East. The true battleground of this war is actually in America.

At what point will you get so outraged over the price of gas that you demand that action be taken? Three bucks? Four bucks? Be careful when you set a limit and be VERY careful about your complaints. Because as long as Bush is in power, and thankfully his reign of terror is coming closer to an end with every day, there is only going to be one outcome of this war.

If you’re hoping that the outcome is going to be full scale investment in alternative power sources, then you’re a hippie who has smoked too much pot. Investment in solar power and electric cars and a massive PR movement to convince drivers to buy hybrid cars are a long, long way off. Roughly a year before it’s determined that there are no more fossil fuels left in the center of the earth. After that, count on the “sudden” discovery of a method of making electric cars that can go 120mph and 500 miles on a five minute charge. As for solar power ever becoming a viable source, forget it. Even Karl Rove wouldn’t be able to convince the American people that the sun can actually be owned by a conglomerate.

They say that only a person who has had his creature comforts satisfied can afford to be a liberal. In other words, everybody has a price at which they are willing to give up ideals. What is that price for America as a whole? Let’s figure it out, because I think it’s pretty close and I fear what kind of ideals will be the first to go.

I’m not a tree-hugger. I’m not an environmentalist. Heck, I hate the outside! I live in Florida and from April through September, it’s entirely possible that the temperature is going to hit the 90s on any given day. Even so, I can appreciate natural wonders. And I’d really hate to see some of God’s perfection messed around with.

Would you be willing to destroy the Grand Canyon if there was oil in them their rocks? How about damming Niagara Falls upriver in order to do some drilling and lessen the grandeur of the falls?

Bush and his big money oilmen supporters and his satellite kiss-butt Senators and Congressmen are engaged in an incredibly cynical maneuver to get at what so far they’ve been able to convince the American public they need to get. You can almost see the dribble pouring out of their mouths as they think about getting the right to drill in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. The ANWR represents 19 million acres of pristine, untouchable Alaskan beauty. The ANWR is such an immense resource of untapped, unavailable land that if it were a state, it would be larger than Maryland, Vermont and New Hampshire combined!

And thus far, big oil money hasn’t been able to touch it. Don’t you know it’s just been killing them!

So how to get to it? Lobbying has so far failed. Americans have thus far been satisfied enough with gas prices that they haven’t gotten scared yet. As, we have seen time and time again, the current administration has operated on the successful assumption that they can push anything through Congress if they can just scare Americans enough.

How scared are you that you’ll be paying $5.00 a gallon for gas in the next five years? And what will you be prepared to give up? Some land way up in Alaska that you aren’t ever going to visit anyway?

That’s what Bush and oil pals are counting on. And that’s why gas prices will continue to rise steadily. And that’s why the oil guys will promise you with their hands over their hearts that they are only going to explore a mere 8% of the ANWR. You see, you don’t even have to give up the beauty of Alaska for gas. You bet BOTH. You get more gas (cheaper gas!) and you still get to enjoy God’s magnificence.

Oh, just in case you’re not a math whiz, and God knows I’m not, 8% of 19 million acres is only 1.5 million acres. A mere bag of shells, as Ralph Kramden would say. What the heck is 1.5 million acres out of 19 million, right?

Well, would you be willing to move everybody out of Delaware and hand it over to the oil companies for drilling? Well, the state of Delaware could fit inside the area of the ANWR they want to lease for drilling and there would STILL be room left for almost 1/3 of Rhode Island.

The supporters for this travesty like to bring out the usual suspects for why this is such a great idea: job creation, federal revenue creation, lessened reliance on Middle East oil, blah-blah-blah.

The truth of the matter is that the only reason these guys want to get at the ANWR is continue our reliance on gas-powered automobiles as the finite supply gets closer and closer to bottoming out. We all know that as long as no real effort is being made to create viable alternative fuels and we all continue to drive vehicles powered by the obsolete combustion engine then one day we’ll have no choice but to agree that drilling has to take place in the ANWR.

The farther away that day, the more execs at oil companies will die without reaping the benefits of those profits. So the next time you complain about how high gas prices are, just remember that one day you’re Congressman and Senator will be asked to make a choice between investing in research that will create a cheaper energy source for you or allowing drilling in Alaska that will provide the CEOs of Exxon and Texaco with an even bigger mansion and pool.

What choice will you want your lawmakers to make?

Read the author’s update, A Follow-Up to Gas Price Conspiracy Revealed!

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