In a Room Full of People yet Alone

In a Room Full of People yet alone
By: Heaven Northrop
October 6, 2004

In a new place
Hiding behind a new face
What has happened to me?
Why can’t I just let things be?
Once held happiness in my hand
Everything now is so hard to understand

Eternal bills to pay
In the bed I made now I lay
Afraid of tomorrow
Hiding in my own pitiful sorrow
Would death bring the answer to my plea?
Just to be free

I wanted what was never there
I never really truly cared
I have drifted far from my home
If only I had known
The pain that I would feel
When I realized what was real

Longing for a dream
Just wanting to let it all go and scream
Once innocent I believed the lies
But now I hear the children’s cries
The city lights have taken my stars
And now the ever louder sound of cars

Even the trees have lost their once proud look
As if their life someone took
I miss the smell of the rain
I long for realize from my pain
Should I surrender and let my self go
And for get that I ever felt the snow

Blank and white
Glitters on a winters night
City snow must be different some how
Black and white like a cow
I wonder how it would feel
This snow that is real
I came here for excitement and something new
But here there is so much to do
I miss the long peaceful nights
But I have lost the will to fight
I once lived in a place with out anger or even hate
Now everyone seems so irate

Was this what I wanted?
What everyone flaunted
No it just can’t be
No one here is free
The feel anger but no love
They can’t even see the stars above

Don’t they want something more?
Than in and out that same old door
I wonder what it is like to grow up here
And never see what’s out there
To lay on the hood of a car
And wish on that one bright star

To be able to trust in another person
To believe that the world won’t just worsen
To extend a helping hand
Without a list of demands
But me I am the one with the head full of dreams
The world is fucked up or so it would seem

Why should I be the only one the live a lie
Why should I be the only one to cry?
Why can’t anyone else see?
The way things could be
If you gave a little more
Lent a hand opened a door

The world is like a one way mirror
One side is crystal and ever so clear
The other you can see what you want
You are free to hate and taunt
What side do you stand on?
Can you see the dawn?

Do you long for a better life?
Do you ever feel poised on the edge of a knife?
Can you see what’s in front of your face?
Can you find you happy place
Or do you wear a mask
And solemnly complete every task

Life is unfair
But who gives a shit why care
No one can tell you how to live
Or how much effort to give
You can have your cake and eat it too
It’s all up to you

As for me
I am going to let things be
For you this might seem strange
But I wait for the day when I can make a change
And on that day
I will forever have my way

And when I do
I will understand what’s true
Because without it
Where in the world will I fit?
I think I finally understand
You can have the world if it will fit in your hand

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