Jeepers, It’s the Juicer! Part II

Meanwhile, Fred, Daphne, and Velma were having a decidedly less frightening experience in the upper levels of the stadium. They were searching one of the luxury boxes when Daphne announced that her feet are killing her. But, before she could make it over to the plush La-Z-Boy, she tripped over the coffee table. In the process, her elbow bumped the large ashtray in the center of the table.

“Jinkies,” Velma instinctively said as a secret door opened in the floor. “Only danger-prone Daphne could’ve found this,” she said as she peered down the dark passageway.

Helping Daphne to her feet, Fred urged them to get down there before it closed back up again. “I wonder where this leads to,” he asked himself.

His answer came soon, as they quickly descended the stairs. “It’s some kind of underground storage facility,” Velma declared. Aiming her flashlight, she made her way over to the mountain of boxes. “And they all say, ‘row one. FALCO.’ I wonder what that means?”

For once, Daphne responded with an intelligent answer. Sort of. “I know what that is. I was reading about it in the paper. Joey Falco, you know the leader of the group that sang, ‘Rock Me Amadeus,’ was good friends with Rick Allen, the drummer for Def Leppard. Well, one day, Rick complained about not being able to go kayaking with only one arm. I guess Falco was a chemist or something because he took that idea and ran with it. Just a few years ago, he introduced this drug that he called, “Row One,” as in “row one-handed.”

“Wow, that’s amazing,” Fred said. His mouth was agape at what he just heard.

“I know, how does a no-talent musician like that come up with a drug like that?” Velma said, equally floored at what she just heard.

“No,” Fred corrected her. “I was amazed that Daphne actually reads the paper.” But before she could even retort, Fred had to add, “Daph, look out!”

She turned around just in time to avoid the bat that the BALCO Beast swung at her. Her sudden reaction threw her balance off, and she landed on one of the boxes. Fred and Velma helper her up, and the three of them ran out in a hurry. The BALCO Beast grabbed the small boxes that had spilled out from the crate Daphne broke, but his throws were painfully off target and embarrassingly short. Somewhere in the distance Sid Bream laughed.

Once the three of them had gotten away from the monster, Fred pulled out the tiny box of pills he had managed to pick up. He showed it to Velma and the two of them scratched their heads. “This mystery is getting pretty weird,” they concurred.

Back on the lower level, two heads poked up from underneath a circular pile of dough. “Like, I think we lost him,” Shaggy whispered. “And you know what that means,” he led on.

“Reah, more food!” Scooby gleefully answered. Within seconds, the two of them were tossing everything under the sun on top of their pizza. Shaggy finally declared their pie ready for the oven, when Scooby vetoed the decision.

“One more thing,” Scooby insisted. Zipping in and out of the kitchen like only Scooby can do, he returned with a king crab. “Good thinking, Scoob,” Shaggy said, patting his buddy on the head. Together, they put the pie into the oven.

Just as soon as the door was closed, they heard a knock. “See who that is, will ya, Scoob?” Shaggy casually requested.

“Roh-kay.” Scooby opened the oven, and immediately, the crab reached out, pinched his nose, and ran out towards the kitchen door.

“Don’t worry, I got him,” Shaggy said, sprinting for the door. He beat the crab there, but was instantly sorry that he did. Blocking the only exit, the BALCO Beast appeared in the doorway. The crab innocently snuck through the monster’s legs without even being noticed.

Thinking quickly, Shaggy grabbed a nearby chef’s hat and tried out his best Italian accent. “Right this-a way, Sir,” he ushered the beast to a table that Scooby had quickly set up. Shaggy continued, “We’ve-a gotta d’pizza you ordered.” On cue, Scooby walked the pie over to the table. The beast was temporarily amused by the setup. Seizing the opportunity, Scooby tossed the hot pie into the monster’s face, eliciting an angry, “Aaaaarrrrggghh!”

Needless to say, Scooby and Shaggy took off like their pants were on fire. They ran so fast that they never saw their friends coming around the corner. With a mighty crash, they all collided. Before they could exchange stories of what they were running from, the BALCO Beast reared his ugly head. Once again they were all on the run. This time, they sought refuge in the player’s locker room. As soon as they got inside, the beast slammed and locked the door. A few minutes of searching revealed that there was no way out.

The time alone allowed Shaggy to show Fred the clue he and Scooby found in the barbecue pit. Fred and Velma looked it over while the others marveled at Barry Bonds’s locker. It was gigantic. Easily five times the size the other lockers. Scooby decided to look around in it. He pulled things out to show to Shaggy and Daphne. The first thing he picked up was a copy of “Game of Shadows.” There was a syringe that was used as a bookmark. Shaggy laughed at that one. Next up was a bobblehead doll of himself. Scooby read the inscription on the bottom out loud. It read, “Model Built To Scale.”

Lastly, Scooby picked up a pair of cleats. Or, at least, he tried to. As soon as his paw lifted it off the ground, a door opened behind the hanging uniforms in the locker. “Rook at ris,” Scooby shouted so that Fred and Velma could hear.

“Another secret door!” Velma exclaimed.

“C’mon, before ol’ Muscle Face comes back,” Fred said, pointing to the doorway.

For the second time that day, Velma was the first one to aim her flashlight at the main object of a hidden room. “Look, it’s a tanning bed,” she said.

“But, like, what’s a tanning bed doing all hidden away?” Shaggy asked.

“I have a hunch why, Shag,” Fred cryptically replied. “Everything is starting to make sense.”

“Right. Now all’s we have to do is catch the BALCO Beast,” Velma added.

“And, I’ve got a plan that’s sure to work. All we need is two volunteers,” Fred said, smiling and looking directly at Shaggy and Scooby.

Figuring there was no way out, Shaggy negotiated, “Like, all right. But this time, it’s ten Scooby Snacks each, ok?”

“You got it,” Fred agreed. “Now here’s what we’re going to do,” he began.

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