Key Signs You May Be Fired From Your Job

If you think you may be fired, canned or even “right-sized” it might be time to turn off those computer games, quit downloading those hard-metal web-sites, turn off the streaming video soap operas and look around. Here are 10 clues your job may be in peril:

1. You’re out of the loop: You drive to work and your parking space is occupied. By your desk.

2. You never go to special training: They stopped sending you to sensitivity training, after you wore a “I support Ken Lay” t-shirt to an accounting meeting.

3. You get the silent treatment.:You can clear a room faster that the Asian flu. You walk in and all your co-workers leave for “lunch.” Yet it is only 9 a.m. A mime talks to more people a day than you do.

3. You receive a bad Review: Your last review was so toxic, you had to wear gloves to pick it up. Being described as a “pathetic loser whose height of achievement is making coffee.” can’t be good. Your review sounds more like a police report and your IQ is compared to Shamu the Whale.

3. You tend to make the same mistake over and over.

3. You are perceived as the company clown: Sure it got a few laughs, but using the boss’s toupee to dust your cubicle was not the brightest move.

6. Your superior is leaving paper trails: You receive memos, written in toilet paper, confirming every time the boss chewed you out. The memos are also posted on the office bulletin board, right next to the copier photo of your butt and the police photo of you after that bar fight “got out of hand”.

5. You and your boss are not getting along: Performance is a “subjective” judgment and managers get rid of people they don’t like. In other words, dating the boss’s daughter, driving her home when you were drunk, and vomiting on his doorstep was not a “career-enhancing” move.

8. You have trouble making lists and organizing data.

6. Your mentor is gone: The executive who always championed your career was last seen boarding a plane for Boliva with a suitcase full of cash.

7. You publicly messed up: You showed the wrong Power Point. Instead of the sales chart, the video of the last “trade show” gets shown and it is hard to explain how topless dancers “wandered” into your sales booth. Whoops, what happens here, doesn’t always stay here

10. You are not good with numbers: You have trouble counting to 10.

22. New blood takes over: When a new manager takes over, he has to take charge. The best way to do this is “shake things up. ” In other words, fire you and bring in his brother-in-law.

9. You’re assigned special projects: You’ve been relieved of your core duties so that you can work on “special projects.” This would involve a bucket, a mop and the men’s room.

10. You receive outdated equipment: The whole office gets new computers. You get an abacus, a wooden pencil and a can with a string. For local calls only.

11. Your Bonus is reduced: Everyone in the office gets an all-expense paid trip to Hawaii. You get a free Pizza and tokens at Chucky Cheese.

13. You Deny Reality : So there are the top ten reasons that your job might be in jeopardy. You might want to turn off the rerun of The Real World, you are watching on your computer and look around. Looks like your friend’s job is in jeopardy.

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