Partial Birth Pretentiousness

Before I die, I could write a hundred articles, a million words perhaps, all about how the religious right is killing the country that I love so much, but maybe it won’t make a difference. These people, these evangelicals, would probably retort with a comment like, “At least you got to live to feel that way. You know, so many never even got the chance.” At this point, I’d have to do everything in my power not to go completely ape-shit. It’s really tough trying to reason with these right wing, religious nuts because they’re so goddam selfish. Everything is about them. Oh sure, they’ll tell you that, “that couldn’t be further from the truth.” But, you want to know why they’re wrong. Because it’s a selfish mindset; it’s selfish to want to ruin my fucking day. And if you’re going to picket on my streets and set up booths in my county fair, you are indeed fucking with my day. Please don’t fuck with my fucking day!

That’s not a lot to ask for, is it. To not want your day fucked with, especially by fellow citizens. Isn’t it enough that our government and our law enforcement have lost any shred of respect for us, do we really need to be hassled by some Bible-thumping Soul hunters? Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy, the stories that I read, but it’s all real. It’s all too real. When the leader of our country vetoes a bill that could lead to cures of our most horrible diseases and ailments, the shit has hit the fan, the stinky, big-voter turn out, evangelical shit has hit the fan and now I am covered in smelly diarrhea. Are you?

It wasn’t always this way. I mean it was but it wasn’t. The religious right has been a real and terrible faction for a long, long time, but they’ve never been so deeply embedded into the spine of this country, never. These people function on a basis of clueless criterion and useless, hateful rhetoric. They preach God’s will with an Uzi of gripe and malignity, signs that say “GOD CREATED IED’S,” up above their heads as they march at soldiers’ funerals*. I would say that these people should be gathered up and stuck in ovens like the Jews they hate and the Holocaust they don’t acknowledge but that would be stooping to their level, and I’m smarter than that.

This is indeed a crucial time in the history of our country and yes I am about to get epic on your collective asses. We are about two years away from the biggest election in the history of the United States of America and I only know one thing: Bush won’t be in office. But before you start the celebration, think about this: his replacement might be worse. I don’t know who he is, but he’s somewhere, being groomed in a dungeon of hate and perpetual war and fear, of greed and religious blessings. He’ll be here before we know it and he’ll make Bush look like Jimmy Carter.

He’s coming, he’ll be here soon; he might even be you.

*One extreme faction led by a lunatic named Fred Phelps supported IED’s or improvised explosive device, bombs made my Iraqi insurgents that have been one of the main cause of American casualties in the war. I forget why Phelps thought that the soldiers were gay, but it’s safe to say that he believes anyone who’s not holding a “GOD HATES FAGS” sign is most likely a homosexual.

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