Possum Joke

However, the possum I came across recently failed again.

I was delivering some Dominos pizzas to Heritage High School on Evergreen Mills Road here in Loudoun County when a possum entered the road. I was traveling 55 miles per hour and saw the possum as he lumbered across the road from the right side. My initial reaction was to slam on breaks, but no, I kept at the speed I was driving, and the possum kept on coming.

It seems like a dream to me now, but it only took about two seconds before I heard the front right tire go whomp, which was followed immediately by a second whomp from the rear tire. I knew that I had murdered yet another poor innocent possum. I didn’t look in my rear view mirror but kept on going to the high school and delivered my pizzas.

I was riddled by guilt for a few minutes, but then remembered the mobile home I left behind before I came to Northern Virginia. It was a nice 60-footer mobile home, but I had a problem with the water pipes in the dead of winter 1999. A possum got under that mobile home and every night he would feed on my water pipes. I went for several weeks without water because of a damned possum. I couldn’t fix the pipes because they were outdated. It was even against the law to sell that kind of pipe any longer. So, that possum gnawed holes in them every night during that winter, and I couldn’t seem to catch him in the act, even though I went under there with a flashlight.

So, if I don’t feel any remorse for the possum I ran down on Evergreen Mills Road, you’ll understand. After all, I don’t believe they were meant to cross the road and live to tell about it.

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