Weird Jobs

Weird Jobs

I was reading an article by fellow Associated Content Producer Allen Smith on the top jobs of 2007, and was hysterically laughing. I think I commented something along the lines of “I am laughing so hard. I think I pulled my back out!” Then it dawned on me…What other weird jobs are out there? So, I pulled some of my resources together, did a little research, and found the following.

1. Citrus Fruit Dryer
Basically the fruits get washed, and then someone towels them off. I don’t understand why the fruits don’t just stand under the air jet in the bathroom! If no one did this job, would we really have sopping we fruit in the grocery store?

2. Chicken Sexer
This is not where someone gets paid to molest chickens! According to http://www.jobprofiles.org/library/guidance/weird-jobs.htm , one goes through baby chicks to separate them by sex. Must be embarrassing for the chicks every time they are turned over to see if they are male or female.

3. Dog Food Tester
This one looked odd even to me. Does someone sit there eating dog food all day? The answer is, sadly, yes.

4. Bird Poop Jeweler
I guess there really is a market for everything! According to http://ezinearticles.com/?Weird-Jobs—Ten-More&id=352386 , a man , who oddly remains nameless, makes and sells bird crap on a braided chain. He paints the poop, makes it all shiny, and then a woman can wear the turd around her neck or on her ears. This really gives new meaning to the words “You look like crap!”

5. Fecal Archaeologist (Pathoecologist)
Dinodoody is called corprolite, but there are and were more animals on this planet than just dinosaurs….and these people study POOPY! People die, but poopy is forever! Apparently you can tell what the diet was of people and what diseases they had through their fecal matter. Just another crappy day at the office.

Those are real jobs in the real world. I wonder if you get paid a decent wage to dry fruit or sculpt bird turd.

Now in the following section, I’ve done something a little different. I’ve developed possible weird jobs for the future:

1. Car
Why not pay someone to turn your car into an eco-friendly car? No gas. No oil. No antifreeze…You have a person run in a large wheel that runs behind your car and propels your car forward, backwards,etc. Need air conditioning in your car? No problem. A person will gladly blow on you while you drive. Need heat? That same person will gladly fart on you while you drive. Need a radio? No problem. You can hire someone to sing for you.

2 .Natural Gas Producer
One word says it all-F-A-R-T! You can make big bucks passing gas into people’s cars and homes. You can even be wealthier than the oil companies of today!

3. Lint Picker
In the year 2020, lint will be as valuable as water, especially bellybutton lint. All the stuff that gets trapped in your innie (if you have an outie you don’t really have this problem now do you?) will be made into fine fabrics. So, someone will be able to pick your bellybutton lint for minimum wage.

4. Navel Operator
Possibly, by the year 2020, Navel Oranges will lose their bellybuttons. You, as a navel operator, must manufacture the Navel Oranges’ bellybuttons by machine. If you don’t, then they’d just be….oranges…nameless oranges…

5. Book
You know that annoying kid in third grade who read the encyclopedia (ok other than me) and then recited facts on a random basis…this is the new job of the Human Book. He/She absorbs every single book they can get their hands on. When you need to do research they just recite it to you. Of course, if they get amnesia, the world would be doomed.

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