Why is it that so many of us find it so hard to forgive? If we are old, we forget that at sometime in our past life we may have done something unforgivable and if we are young that there are still lots of time and opportunity for us to do something unforgivable. Either way we want to be forgiven, but we can’t find forgiveness in our hearts for others.
As mentioned before in my last piece, we always feel that the other person’s sin is greater than our own; it’s always easier to identify another’s fault or sin than to recognize our own. It’s so much easier to point out how much that person’s behavior affects or upsets us, but we never stop to think that maybe our behavior may affect or upset them too. We like to think that we put up with their annoying habits because we love them, but we never stop for a moment to think that maybe they are putting up with our annoying habits because they love us. They say that love is blind, but too often it’s a case where we just turn a blind eye. The problem is that we sometimes turn a blind eye not only to that person but to ourselves as well. We don’t see where we could have contributed to the way that person lives, behaves or reacts. We see our actions as no big deal but their actions are stress in our lives.
It is so very easy to justify the things we do but that’s because we never like to see it from the other person’s viewpoint.
Of course some things can never be justified and can be very hard to forgive or forget. If you forgive a person too many times, they take it as an excuse to do it again because they feel that they will get away with it. It can sometimes be difficult to tell if that person’s remorse is sincere, if their promise is genuine. Sometimes it’s a case where you know that they are sincere, but you also know that they are weak and have no self control. Then it’s a tough decision, but the decision is yours, one that you will have to live with, one that you may or may not regretÃ¢Â?Â¦
Don’t be taken for granted, but don’t take them for granted either. Don’t let them take you for a fool, but don’t be without understanding.
Ask yourself, was it something that you did that brought about the problem, and is there something that you can do to help them deal with the problem. Even if their actions cannot be justified, that does not mean that you cannot meet them halfway. Depending on the circumstance or situation, if you want that person to change something about them to suit you, then it may be necessary for you to be willing to do the same.
Only you can decide if the relationship or friendship is worth repair because sometimes, whether we want to admit it or not, some things are beyond repair.
What ever you decide, you have to live with that decision, with the consequence of that decisionÃ¢Â?Â¦.
Don’t make decisions for each other, discuss it, talk about it, let each other know how you feel, don’t assume that they do. Don’t assume that they know what they did, don’t assume that they will agree with your decision or will be comfortable with it. If there is room for compromise, compromise, if not, let them know your decision, don’t make them guess it.
You can forgive a person without giving them the opportunity to hurt you again. Forgiveness does not mean lay down and let them walk all over you. Forgiveness means that you recognize that we are not perfect and that we all have weaknesses.
You can forgive without pandering to that weakness.
Forgiveness lightens the heart not only of the one who gets it, but also to the one who gives it.
Don’t wait too long to forgive, the opportunity may pass you by and then it may be too lateÃ¢Â?Â¦
“Don’t let the sun go down upon your wrath!”