How to Leave an Abusive Spouse

It is not at all easy to deal with an abusive spouse. The frequent beatings and mental torture can take its toll on even the most strong-willed and confident of person. Rather than thinking of oneself as helpless, you should make a move to escape the torment. Do not let the fear that your spouse has instilled in you keep you from pursuing freedom and happiness.


  • 1

    Convince yourself that you are not responsible for the abusive attitude of your spouse and that he does not love you. If you blame yourself for their action, you will never be able to get out of the relationship and will continue to cling to him, looking for a way to make amends for what you believe you may have done. This will only make you more vulnerable. Accept that you have an abusive spouse and convince yourself to leave such a person.

  • 2

    Regain your confidence by getting out of the house more frequently. After being subjected to beating or mental abuse, your confidence is bound to have dropped extremely low. However, by meeting with people or simply taking long walks, you will find yourself becoming strong again. This confidence is necessary for your escape from your abusive spouse.

  • 3

    Talk to someone who is close to you and tell them about your situation. Do not hesitate to share the details with them. Do not worry too much about how they would react to your situation. They may be able to guide you better or offer you their support.

  • 4

    Access the situation and make a plan before you leave your spouse. Ask yourself if you have enough money to manage without your spouse. Ask yourself where you will go after leaving your spouse. If you have kids, you may want to take them along. If they are really young, do not hesitate to take them along. If they are old enough to understand the situation, ask them whether they want to come along if they would rather stay with your spouse. Do not pressurise them.

  • 5

    After accessing the situation and making a plan, act on it. Leave at a time when your spouse is not at home as they may use force to keep you from leaving. Make sure you have everything you need. Take your jewellery along as well, as it can come in handy when you find yourself in desperate need of cash. Do not leave anything behind that may require you to visit the house again.

  • 6

    Surround yourself by the people you love after you have left your spouse. You deserve their love and comfort after all the torment you have been through.

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