A Daughter’s Remembrance

at age thirteen
broken dreams and emotions
as you aborted me
deleted me from your life
my existence not apparent
learned to toughen my spirit
grew a lion’s skin
and teeth that could draw blood
without your existence
i cried
nightly
thought something
was wrong with me
but it was just
me missing
the person who
created me
years and years
went by
no cards
no phone calls
no visits
i became a prisoner
in my own mind
became blind to love
from others who looked like you
didn’t want to play the fool
so I got tools of
strength that protected me
but Daddy, i never wanted to be
independent at all
i just ended up the supawoman
as the universe called me too
because i could not see me
letting a man break me down
leave me on the shore
to die
like you did
your selfishness
burned my soul
until one day i realized
that you were even more
hurt than me
and that honestly
you couldn’t do what i needed you to do
because you were swallowed up in a sea
of bitterness
and that i was just a victim of that life
current that ran through you
but that was then
this is now
i choose love
not hate
and i thread that all in my heart
as we try to meld this relationship back
i’m not crying
no lying to myself
i just say i’m okay
and you can know that
i no longer hate
you
cause i am
and always be
daddy’s little girl
so let it go
ask God for strength
use love as your meter
and don’t allow your self pity
to draw lines between us
no further

(c) 2006 by Mocha Sistah
Wednesday September 13, 2006

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