Bring Me the Sunset in a Cup

She leaned her head against the glass of the passenger side window, watching the hulking shapes of the heavy leafed trees blur passed the vehicle. “Fields of Gold” played on the radio, the line “You’ll forget the sun in his jealous sky…” echoed in her head, and secretly she wondered if she was crazy for wondering if it was the sky that was jealous, and not the sun. The sun it seemed sat scoffing at her in that clear blue, above the trees that blurred by.

They had nothing to say to each other… her and the man in the driver’s seat. What could be said? They’d loved and hated each other, shared their life’s stories with each other a thousand times… and now… there was nothing left to say.

So in silence she pondered the scoffing sun, and the possibly jealous sky, trying to remember the fields of gold. Somehow… somehow she could not stop thinking that it was her fault that everything was failing so miserably, and her heart sank lower as the trees seemed to bend their heads in laughter and weeping by turns. And ever there was the hum of the tires on the road, the sound of the engine, and the clear beautiful voice singing of those fields of gold that she so longed to find again.

“It doesn’t have to be like this,” he said, his deep sonerous voice slicing through her thoughts. “It really doesn’t, Grace.”

She didn’t turn to look at him. His face was too handsome, his demeanor too caring, and she knew she would show tears if she did. “How else can it be?” she asked hopelessly. “All we ever do is argue now. I’m so tired of arguing.”

“I am too,” he sighed. “Would you look at me please? I’m tired of arguing, but I’m not tired of fighting.”

This time she did turn her head. The song on the radio changed by now, but the images the song brought to mind still remained fresh. “What do you mean you’re not tired of fighting? How can you not be tired of fighting?”

He gave her a quick glance away from the road, and then turned back. “Not fighting you, Grace… I am tired of fighting with each other, but I’m not willing to quit fighting for us. Not yet…”

“If you’re going to say every couple has problems… just… just don’t… I know every couple has problems. I just don’t know that every couple can’t figure out how to solve them, Jason.”

“We will,” he said resolutely, “But only if we don’t go through with what we’re thinking about.”

Grace sighed, and looked back out her window. The sun was beginning to set… It seemed to have lost it’s defiance, it’s ability to mock her, and the sky was beginning to darken. She was tired of fighting… she was just tired.

Streaks of color began showing on the horizon, showing beautiful hues, and a thought came to her. A crazy thought… She was unsure where it came from, but before even thinking about it, she turned to Jason, and asked, “Would you bring me the sunset in a cup?” After it was out of her mouth she knew it was an utterly insane thing to say. She suddenly envisioned Jimmy Stewart promising the moon to Donna Reed, but she had already asked it, and she fully expected Jason to give her an incredulous look.

His reaction surprised her though. “Gracie… I would give you anything you wanted if I could. I just want you to be happy. I want you to be happy with me. But mostly I just want you to be happy.”

She sat in a stunned silence for a moment, and then looked down at the golden band on her finger. She had been considering removing it the entire day, but had not been able to bring herself to do so. She glanced over at Jason’s hands in their ten and two positions on the steering wheel, noticing he was still wearing his ring also. And suddenly things were all right.

The sun no longer scoffed, but seemed lazily content as it sank below the horizon, and the sky seemed to be slipping into a weary rest… burned out on it’s own jealousy. The trees stood idly by, as the vehicle wizzed past them, keeping their silent watch, and Grace, looking at her wedding band, found her field of gold.

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