Cops Nab the Harry Caray Bank Robber Bandit

A bank robber who was dubbed by the police and media as the Harry Caray Bandit was nabbed last week in Chicago. The bandit was named after the late Chicago Cubs announcing great, Harry Caray, because of his oversized glassed, baseball cap and wig.

Harry Caray was one of the most beloved figures in the history of Chicago so it’s not surprising that a bank robber would dress up like him. If you are going to rob a bank (in my opinion at least) you should make yourself look like one of your region’s greatest (and more importantly, cherished) celebrities. Harry Caray was the perfect person to look like for a Chicago bank robber because people really fucking loved Harry Caray. If you walked into a bank dressed up like Harry Caray in Chicago, the first thing tellers are going to think is, “wow, this guy is funny; what a great tribute to the amazing legacy that is Harry Caray, this is truly a good person.”

Putting the tellers at ease like that will make it easier for you to rob them when the time is right. Now, let’s talk about Guillermo Rivera. Guillermo Rivera was the real name of the Harry Caray bandit and I find that shocking. I was even more shocked when I looked up pictures of Guillermo Rivera online. He looked nothing like Harry Caray.

The 52 year old supposed “Harry Caray Bandit” looks more like a 52 year old Mexican bank robber than a Harry Caray look alike. I was extremely disappointed for several reasons. The one thing that got me was, how the people of Chicago could be so stupid as to think that this guy actually resembled their very own national treasure, Harry Caray. And the second thing I thought about was, maybe this guy wasn’t even trying to look like Harry Caray.

The more I mulled it over in my mind, I began to think that the whole thing was a big misunderstanding; and that ESPN should have never covered this story on (because this guy looks nothing like Harry Caray; ESPN should get fire their fact-checkers).

I think that Guillermo Rivera was just some dude, some bank robbing dude who didn’t want to get recognized. He put on some glasses, a wig and a hat and he was mistaken for Harry Caray (who, I believe, rarely even wore a baseball hat). I guess you can’t fault with the city of Chicago for thinking that this guy looked Caray; I guess it just shows how much they miss him. And that’s no crime.

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