I know that many college students have fading memories because they are studying too much (and by studying I mean partying), but there is one man out there who can help bring the past back to life. Me. Not only do I remember those high school days, but I remember those grade school days as well. So I give you: my favorite elementary moments.
Remember the book fair from elementary school? In my school it came but twice a year and the whole gym was filled up with large tables of books for the kindergartener to the precocious young scientist that had to learn about manatees. You got to skip some class or the other, but may have lost out on some quality gym class. Most of the time when I did have the money, I would end up buying some stupid crap and still to this day I remember some of those purchases. There was the little book of word searches, a book about young celebrities (Macaulay Caulkin, Jaleel White, the Olsen twins) and in the latter years, some Lord of the Rings type fantasy book about badgers. What I don’t remember is why I would buy a 400 page book about some personified badgers. I probably wanted it for D.E.A.R (Drop Everything and Read) or S.S.R (Sustained Silent Reading). Strangely enough, I also remember how I felt during these memorable days. It was thought of as pretty awesome if you were a kid whose parents laid down $20 for the book fair. It sounds pretty lame, but that was pimping it – being able to buy bigger and better books than your friends. I even remember some parents coming in to the book fair because they didn’t trust their children in making these kinds of decisions.
I don’t know what everyone else’s school was like, but our elementary lunch menu was pretty pathetic. Typical menu items quite often were Steakum on Roll, Macaroni & Cheese, Fish Sticks (filled with some nasty filling), and of course an excuse for pizza. Oh, and who could forget the Beef Tacos that some girl once compared to dog shit? I never touched the tacos after that. On the plus side, we did have potato chips and soft serve ice cream that I would make a meal for the few times I did buy school food. I guess what really pissed me off though is how I could get hot lunch for $1.00 and milk for 40 cents, but hot lunch with milk was $1.50. Stealing 10 cents from all those studentsÃ¢Â?Â¦the school must have made a fortune. There were also hearty lunches that had bigger portions, but everyone knew those were for the fatties. Yes, lunches from home were the way to go.
Oh man, this was the best part of the day. You got to run amok without a care in the world because you hadn’t gone through puberty yet and didn’t sweat much. I remember being pretty psyched to try out my new Nike Force sneakers in kickball, for the shoes would clearly enhance my kicking distance. I never quite understood how those kids wearing sandals played either; it seemed painful to kick something with your actual toes. There was nothing more than you could hope for than a long recess. The shortest ones were a terse 15 minutes, but the longest could last hours especially in May or June. It would have been a cardinal sin to ask when recess was over; you just kept on playing, praying that your teacher wouldn’t ring the bell. Looking back, I wonder what the girls did during recess. I wasn’t quite as interested in them back then and normally just played kickball, football, or some other ballgame. I mean, I had balls. Once in a while some tomboy would play football. No one was against it really, but you really couldn’t justify knocking over a girl in football. My, wasn’t I the chivalrous one? I think I remember that hand slapping was quite popular with the girls. They had all sorts of wild and crazy concoctions that probably actually demanded some skill.
So the whole opposite sex thing wasn’t as pervasive as in high school; some form of interaction still existed. I remember it was pretty big news if so and so kissed in the cafeteria. It was also funny how some kids would act as the intermediaries to find out if Lauren liked Adam so that Adam could “ask her out”. These relationships were ridiculous because you did not see the other person outside of school and did not have the means to get together elsewhere or even group-hang (the group-hang is something I’ve been reading about that kids our age do). The elementary romantic scene was a phenomenon of its own.
At my school, an announcement was made to signal the end of the day. You knew around what time school ended, but could never be quite sure.
“All students on 1st run bus please report to the front of the school to board your bus.”
As soon as you heard this, you really had to book it to not miss the bus. It was a serious matter and quite common to grab your coat and just sprint to the main entrance. One time I forgot my coat and went back after realizing so. I ran out of time and missed the bus. Man was I fucked, I had to wait an extra hour before my parents could come and get me. Well, I hope I have conjured up some old memories out of even the most neurologically abused brains. If you remember any other classics from grade school, please fulfill your civic duty and leave comments about your favorite elementary school moments.